Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many parts of the world, people rely on private cars for transportation.

In what ways does reliance on private cars affect the way we live?

Do the effects tend to be positive or negative?

Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is commonly seen that people are heavily dependent on personal vehicles. This is beacuse people are experiencing long commuting times. In the following paragraphs, this essay will discuss how long communting times is affect the way people live, and its negative effects.

Due to the reliance on cars, the volume of cars on the roads has increased significantly. This is because people are experiencing traffic congestion and long coummuting times. The more people use cars for daily travel, the more they are likely to face long travel time. If people do not stop start using private vehicles for daily commuting, it would simultaneously increase traffic on the roads and travel time. For example, an increased number of cars can increase the difficulties reaching destinations on time.

This traffic congestion not only cause delay to reach destinations, but also loud noise generated by cars is detrimental to people hearing capacity. The delay casued by traffic congestion can lead to a job loss because organizations keep the records of employees checkin timings. For instance, employers often value candidates with punchuality overs workers with inconsistent arrival times. Moreover, loud traffic noise can lead to hearing issues as it can make an impact on people hearing capacity, which may also lead to complete hear loss.

In conclusion, the increased dpendendence on personal vehicles is affecting individuals travelling duration and thier hearing capacity. Therefore, it is totally a neagtive trend. The goverment should encourage people to reduce their usage of private vehicles for daily travelling.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the prompt: you describe effects on daily travel and hearing, and clearly conclude that reliance on cars is negative. Traffic congestion, delays, possible job consequences, and noise are relevant examples. However, the response focuses mainly on two consequences and does not explain broader changes to how people live, such as effects on family time, health, or access to services. Some reasoning is also unclear: the opening links car dependence to long commuting times, while the body suggests car use itself increases those times, and the employment example is asserted rather than fully explained. Develop each effect with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation and a more specific example to make the response more complete and convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The main ideas are generally presented in a sensible order, and linking expressions such as “For example,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” help signal relationships. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, with repeated references to traffic congestion, cars, and long travel times. Some connections are also unclear: the opening says people rely on cars because of long commuting times, but the body argues that car use creates longer journeys. The second body paragraph combines lateness and hearing damage without a smooth transition between them. Use clearer referencing and vary the links between ideas, while ensuring each paragraph develops one connected point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “traffic congestion,” “daily commuting,” “detrimental,” and “hearing capacity.” These choices show an attempt to discuss consequences beyond basic transport. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, for example “communting,” “coummuting,” “punchuality,” and “dpendendence.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “difficulties reaching destinations on time” and “make an impact on people hearing capacity.” Aim for accurate spelling and more natural collocations, such as “difficulty reaching destinations on time” and “damage people’s hearing.” Building a wider set of precise expressions for causes and consequences would make the argument clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “If people do not stop start using private vehicles…” and a contrast pattern with “not only…but also.” However, several sentence structures are faulty, and errors sometimes make the intended meaning harder to follow. For example, “how long communting times is affect” has an incorrect verb pattern, “This traffic congestion not only cause delay” has subject–verb and number errors, and “people hearing capacity” needs a possessive form. The conditional sentence also needs a grammatical construction such as “If people do not stop using…” Practise checking verb forms, agreement, possessives, and sentence patterns, while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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