Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many parts of the world, people rely on private cars for transportation.

In what ways does reliance on private cars affect the way we live?

Do the effects tend to be positive or negative?

Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

IT IS UNDENIABLE THAT IMPORTANCE 0F PRIVATE VEHICLES HAS INCLINED IN TODAY 'S WORLD AMONG PEOPLE AROUND THE GLOBE .THEREFORE, PERSONNEL CARS HAS BECOME MAJOR WAY OF COMMUTING IN MANY NATIONS .THIS ESSAY INTENDS TO DISCUSS WHAT ARE POSIBLE EFFECTS ON PEOPLE LIFE WHEN THEY DEPEND ON THEIR PRIVATE TRANSPORTATION AND WHETHER THESE IMPACTS ARE ADVANTAGEOUS OR NOT .

THE FIRST AND FOREMOST IMPACT OF DEPENDENCY ON PRIVATE CARS IS TRAFFIC CONGESTION ON ROADS . SINCE POLLUTION IN SUCH CITIES LIKELY TO BOOM DUE TO HEAVY TRAFFIC ON ROADS ,TRAFFIC ON ROADS FURTHER CONTRIBUTES TO OTHER FACTORS .CERTAINLY , MORE PRIVATELY OWN CARS MEANS MORE CONGESTION ON ROADS THAT ULTIMATELY LEADS TO MORE NOISE AND AIR POLLUTION IN ENVIRONMENT.ANOTHER OBVIOUS EFFECT ON INDVIDUALS LIFE CAUSE OF MORE PRIVATELY OWN TRANSPORTATION IS MORE FINANCIAL BURDEN ON PEOPLE' S LIFE BECAUSE PERSONNEL VEHICLE REQUIRED INSURANCE , MAINTENCE EXPENSES AND FUEL COST . THERE AEE ALOT MORE EXPENSES WHILE OWNING A VEHICLE . HENCE , PEOPLE NEED TO EARN EXTRA MONEY IN ORDER TO DEPEND ON CARS.

I BELIEVE THAT DEPENDENCY ON PERSONNEL CARS IS BENEFICAL FOR INDIVIDUALS BECAUSE IT IS PROVIDES CONVENIENCE AND COMFORT .WHEN PEOPLE RELY ON PERSONNEL CARS ,THEY ARE MORE LIKELY TO REACH WITH EASE AT PARTICULAR PLACE THAT CAN NOT BE POSSIBLE IN PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION . THUS , PRIVATE CARS IS EFFICENT WAY TO COMMUTE FROM ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER WITH COMFORT.EVENTHOUGH, IT CREATE SOME EXTRA PRESSURE ON

ON INDIVIDUALS DUE TO EXPENSES , IT IS WORTH TO OWN CARS DUE TO EASE IT COMES WITH .FOR EXAMPLE , IF SOMEONE CHOOSE PRIVATE CAR TO TRAVEL FOR HOLIDAY , IT WILL HIGHLY COMFORTABLE FOR THEM TO HANGOUT AROUND TOWN WITH OWN VEHICLE .

IN CONCLUSION , ALTHOUGH SOME IMACTS ARE FINANCIAL BURDEN AND AIR POLLUTION DUE TO RELY ON PRIVATE CARS , IT STILL EXTREMELY HELFUL AND CONVENIENT WAY OF TRAVEL FOR INDVIDUALS DUE TO ITS COMFORTABLE NATURE .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the question: it describes effects of car dependence, including congestion, pollution and personal costs, and gives a clear overall view that convenience and comfort make the effects worthwhile. These ideas are relevant and the conclusion reinforces the position. However, the discussion is unevenly developed. The negative effects are listed, but the explanation of how congestion changes daily life remains general; similarly, the positive case relies mainly on ease of travel and a brief holiday example. To strengthen the response, explain consequences more fully—for instance, how congestion affects commuting time or how car access helps people with limited public transport—and support the comparison with a specific example. This would make the reasoning more fully developed and balanced.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on disadvantages, a paragraph presenting the benefits, and a conclusion. The progression from effects to the writer’s judgement is generally understandable, and linking expressions such as “Therefore,” “Hence,” and “In conclusion” help signal stages. However, connections between some ideas are unclear or repetitive: “traffic on roads” is repeated several times, and “traffic on roads further contributes to other factors” does not clearly identify those factors. The transition from the disadvantages to the benefits is also abrupt. Use clearer topic sentences and more precise referencing, and connect each example directly to the point it supports. This would make the organisation smoother rather than relying mainly on explicit linkers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses vocabulary relevant to transport and its effects, including “traffic congestion,” “air pollution,” “financial burden,” “insurance,” and “fuel cost.” This gives enough topic-specific language to communicate the main ideas. However, word choice, spelling and collocation errors are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “personnel cars” for “private cars,” “dependency” where “reliance” would be more natural, “maintence,” and “benefical.” Some phrases are also awkward, such as “reach with ease at particular place” and “comfortable nature.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations of words and check spelling carefully. A more varied set of precise terms for convenience, costs and environmental effects would also reduce repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There are attempts to use both simple and complex sentences, including a reason clause beginning “Since” and a concession introduced by “Although.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles and verb forms occur across the response. For example, “private cars has become” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “it is provides convenience” combines incompatible verb forms. In “more privately own cars means,” the plural subject also needs a plural verb and a correctly formed modifier. Punctuation and spacing around sentence boundaries are inconsistent, which makes some long sentences harder to follow. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and verb, then review articles and punctuation, while retaining the complex structures you are attempting.

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