Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Using a cell phone while driving is dangerous because it causes the driver to become distracted. Therefore, cell phone use by drivers should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear Mr. Its an essential instruction for all the drivers.When any is use mobile phone during the driving, its very dangerious for driver,beacuse when you use mobile cell when your concentrate is end. you cant focused on driving you are distracted in driving.

if you cant focused on driving you can do accident its haramfull for you and your lost own life you properly not focused on derived.

According to my opninon this is dangerous. i will agreed beacuse ,a few mistake is not good for you you can lose everything. if this type of activity happend in your life you lose own self confidence.

Few months ago, i was in my car and i saw the driver he is busy in mibike phone during the driving suddenly one overspeed car come and he cannot control the car and kill one person.i request you please becarefull during driving and focused on own line. its good for you and your healt.you can safe .if you following the principles. your regard raja saad

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear view that phone use while driving is dangerous, and the incident you describe—where a distracted driver loses control and kills someone—is relevant to the topic. However, the response only partly addresses the question: it does not clearly explain whether phone use should be made illegal, or give reasons for and against that specific legal measure. The ideas about losing confidence and “lose everything” are not explained enough to support your position. The response is also 79 words below the required minimum, which leaves little space to develop your reasoning or add relevant support. To strengthen the answer, state your position on the proposed law directly and explain how a ban could prevent harm.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: you begin by introducing the danger, then give your opinion, and later provide a personal example. This gives the reader a basic sense of the response’s direction. However, the ideas are not developed in a clear overall progression, and the paragraph breaks do not consistently separate distinct points. Several sentences repeat the same claim about being unable to focus, while links such as “if” and “because” are sometimes used without a clear connection between the ideas. The final request to drivers and sign-off also interrupt the essay’s argument. Use separate paragraphs for your position, supporting reasons, and example, and connect each point explicitly to whether phone use should be illegal.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “distracted,” “driving,” “accident,” and “control the car,” so the main subject is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several spelling or word-choice errors strain understanding, such as “dangerious,” “haramfull,” “mibike phone,” and “derived.” Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear, including “your concentrate is end” and “focused on own line.” Aim to learn accurate topic vocabulary and common collocations, then check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise expressions such as “take your attention off the road” and “cause a fatal collision” would help you explain the risks clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both short statements and longer sentences, including a conditional idea beginning “if you cant focused on driving.” However, the range of sentence structures is very limited, and frequent errors in verb forms, sentence construction, articles, and punctuation can make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “when any is use mobile phone” does not form a correct clause, and “he cannot control the car and kill one person” shifts awkwardly between verb forms. Capitalisation and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “i will agreed beacuse.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with correctly formed clauses using “because,” “when,” and “if.”

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