Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-11-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Using a cell phone while driving is dangerous because it causes the driver to become distracted. Therefore, cell phone use by drivers should be made illegal.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Nowadays, many people use their cell phone while driving their cars on the way to their business , for answering calls , or texting someone . this effects , could defentelly make theme distracted as a result the number of trip accidents is incridibelly incrised around the world
In my opinion , I believe that it should be illegal and taxed by the police , because is dangerous for both , the cell phone users and the other people who walk or drive outside , regarding to accidents wiche could be happend while making a call
In addition taxes and low can decrise the numbre of damaged caused , people dislike taxes and bad observation on their drive permit for example
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
You give a clear opinion that phone use while driving should be illegal, and you identify relevant risks to drivers and other road users. However, the response addresses the task only minimally: the reasons are stated rather than explained, and there is no developed example or discussion of how a ban would work. The point about police taxes and penalties is also unclear, so its relevance to preventing distraction is not fully established. The response is 129 words short of the required minimum, leaving too little space to develop your argument. To strengthen it, explain how calls or texting affect attention, support this with a specific example, and clarify what penalties you support and why.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
There is a basic overall sequence: you introduce the problem, state your opinion, and then mention penalties as a possible deterrent. This gives the reader some sense of the argument’s direction. However, the response has no clear paragraph structure, and the final point is left unfinished, so progression is limited. Linking expressions such as “as a result” and “In addition” are attempted, but the relationships between ideas are not always clear; for example, the connection between taxes and “bad observation on their drive permit” is difficult to follow. Use separate paragraphs for your position, supporting reasons, and conclusion, and make each linking phrase express a precise relationship between complete ideas.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “distracted,” “accidents,” “illegal,” and “dangerous,” so the main subject is recognisable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors strain the reader’s effort: examples include “defentelly,” “incridibelly,” “decrise,” and “numbre.” Some phrases are also unclear or unnatural, such as “number of trip accidents” and “bad observation on their drive permit.” Build a more accurate set of topic phrases and check spelling carefully. For instance, describe “road accidents,” explain that a driver’s “attention is diverted,” and refer to “penalty points on a driving licence” rather than an unclear observation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences, including the opening sentence and the explanation beginning “because,” but the range of sentence structures remains very limited. Frequent errors in sentence boundaries, clauses, and verb forms sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “this effects, could…” does not form a clear clause, and “because is dangerous” is missing a subject. The final sentence also lacks a complete, clearly structured explanation. Practise writing accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with “because,” “so,” or “for example.” Check that every clause has a subject and verb, and use full stops and capital letters to separate complete sentences.
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