Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Barron's Writing · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Using a cell phone while driving is dangerous because it causes the driver to become distracted. Therefore, cell phone use by drivers should be made illegal.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
IN TODAY'S FAST-PACED WORLD, MANY INDIVIDUAL HAVE A HABIT OF TALKING ON PHONE CALL WHILE DRIVING. SO, THE GOVERMENT NEEDS TO TAKE A STRICT ACTION AGAINST USING CELL PHONE WHILE DRIVING, THIS ESSAY SHALL EXPLORE THE REASONS FOR NOT OPERATING WHILE DRIVING. I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THE STATEMENT.
TO BEGIN WITH, THERE IS AN INCREASE IN NUMBER OF MOTOR VEHICLE ACCIDENT. MOST OF DRIVERS GET DISTRACTED BY TECHNOLOGY WHILE TRAVELLING ON HIGHWAY. FOR EXAMPLE, TRUCK DRIVERS HAVE TO TRAVEL THROUGHOUT THE LONG ROUTES TO SUPPLY DIFFERENT LOGISTICS TO DIFFERENT PROVINCE. IN BETWEEN SOMETIMES THEY GET BORED AND START SCROLLING INSTAGRAM OR FACEBOOK WHICH IS A MAJOR SOURCE OF DISTRACTION. IN ADDITION, PEOPLE USE MODERN TECHNOLOGY SUCH AS BLUETOOTH EARBUDS WHICH CANCEL SURROUNDING NOISE AND UNABLE TO HEAR IF A VEHICLE IS HONKING FROM BEHIND WHICH CAN LEAD TO A ROAD ACCIDENT.
MOREOVER, DRIVING IS NOT A PIECE OF CAKE , IT NEED A LOT OF CONCENTRATION AND A SKILL. THE GOVERNMENT AUTHORITIES SHOULD TAKE AN ACTION AGAINST THE PEOPLE WHO DRIVE THE VEHICLE WITHOUT LEGAL DRIVING LICENSE. APART FROM THAT THERE SHOULD BE A PARTICULAR CRITERIA OR AN AGE TO GIVE DRIVING TEST. HOWEVER, MANY COUNTRIES IMPLEMENTED STRICT RULES AND REGULATIONS TO DRIVE SAFE ON ROADS BUT DUE TO LACK OF PRACTICE SOMETIMES IT MAY CAUSE DEATH TOO.
ON THE OTHER HAND, INCASE OF ANY MEDICAL EMERGENCIES PEOPLE HAVE TO RECIVE A CALL REGARDLESS OF SAFETY PROTOCOL. SINCE, THERE ARE MANY DISADVANTAGES OF USING A CELL PHONE WHILE DRIVING, AN INDIVIDUAL AND ATHE GOVERNMENT HAVE TO MEASURES TO REDUCE ROAD ACCIDENTS, BREAKING SIGNAL AND TO IMPROVE PEDESTRIAN SAFETY.
TO CONCLUDE, USING A MOBILE PHONE WHILE DRIVING IS INJURIOUS TO HEALTH, ALAS THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD ANNOUNCE IT TO MADE ILLEGAL.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the first body paragraph provides relevant examples regarding distraction, the second body paragraph drifts into irrelevant topics such as driving licenses and age criteria, which do not directly support the argument about cell phone use. The conclusion is also somewhat repetitive and lacks a summary of the main points. To improve, ensure every sentence directly supports the central argument and avoid introducing new, unrelated topics in the latter half of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas in the first half. However, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is weak, and the inclusion of irrelevant information disrupts the flow. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with' and 'Moreover', but some are used mechanically or incorrectly, such as 'Alas' in the conclusion, which does not fit the context. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the overall structure would benefit from more sophisticated linking between sentences.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'operating while driving' (which is vague) and 'injurious to health' (which is an unusual collocation for a traffic safety issue). The use of 'Alas' in the final sentence is inappropriate for an academic essay. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding informal or misused vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('many individual have', 'it need a lot of'), missing articles ('take a strict action'), and punctuation errors, such as comma splices ('...while driving, this essay shall...'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Improving control over basic grammar and sentence boundaries is essential for a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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