Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This pie chart illustrates the number of participants by acitivity 2000 to 2020 in Melbourne Australia . Number of participants by year and their activites wich people have interested.

The most important activity wich people was interesting in 2005 is music mostly people like music and liesten musin about their culture and favourite. In 2010 table tennis was average but it,s groet was high in 2015 and 40% people start interest in. But in 2000 to 2020 martial arts become papoular it got down in 2005. Film club demand was also hish 2000 to 2020. People have most interest in film club and spent time in cinema the demand growth up.

The comparison between year 2000 to 2020 is very up and very down. Music is one hand side was started grew on this time but cannot grew. Film was also high every time by the demand of puplic who was also participants in film club. But the demand of music cannot compare with interest in film. The comparison between per year and oer percantage is very high of film.

The one hand site participants of music and other hand site it shows the high demand of filmclub 65% .But other activites cannot comapre with most demand able thing Overall this is related about acitvites

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant activities and make a valid general observation that film club participation remained high. However, the response only minimally summarises the graph: it does not give a clear, accurate overview of the main trends across all five activities, and several claims misread the data. Music did not lead in 2005; musical performances had no participants then and began at about 12 in 2010. Table tennis rose sharply to about 54 by 2020, not “40%” in 2015, while martial arts fluctuated around the mid-30s rather than becoming increasingly popular. The film club stayed broadly stable, not steadily growing. Focus on the largest rises and falls, compare the series, and report figures as participant numbers rather than percentages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There are separate paragraphs, and you attempt to compare activities using phrases such as “In 2010” and “The comparison between year 2000 to 2020.” This gives the response some basic organisation. However, the ideas do not progress in a clear sequence: the second paragraph moves between music, table tennis, martial arts and film without a consistent structure, and the final paragraph repeats the film-versus-music comparison rather than adding a distinct summary. Several links are unclear, including “The one hand site participants of music and other hand site…” Plan the report around an overview followed by grouped trends, and use clear references such as “By contrast” only when the data supports the comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “participants,” “demand,” “interest” and “comparison,” so the topic is recognisable. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice problems strain understanding: “acitivity,” “wich,” “papoular,” “puplic” and “comapre” are examples. Some expressions are also unsuitable for describing a graph, such as “40% people start interest in” and “most demand able thing”; the chart reports participant numbers, not percentages or demand. Build a precise set of trend verbs and nouns, such as “rose,” “declined,” “fluctuated,” “remained stable” and “participant numbers,” and check spelling and natural combinations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both short statements and longer comparisons, but sentence structures are very limited and errors are frequent enough to make several ideas difficult to follow. For example, “The most important activity wich people was interesting in 2005 is music” has problems with clause structure and verb agreement, while “Film club demand was also hish 2000 to 2020” lacks a clear grammatical relationship between the time phrase and the claim. Tense and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “it,s groet was high in 2015 and 40% people start interest in.” Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “while” or “whereas.” Check articles, verb forms, agreement and punctuation.

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