Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph describes on the amount of participants in different activities at a Social centre in melbourne from 2000 to 2020

Overall the chart contains 5 different activities, In which participants joined. graph shows number of participants after every year until 2020

In the graph film is on the peak 65 every mentioned year, Although slightly decreased in 2005 and 2010,but then it get recover his lost number of participants. after the fil club table tennis is on second highest place itwa noyt allways on top, In the begganing it's number was only 20 then it get significant increase after 2010, and end on 55 number in year of 2020. Then martial is on third number it make relo

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the chart’s subject and reports some relevant features, including the film club’s leading position, table tennis’s strong rise, and martial arts being around the middle. However, the account is incomplete and ends abruptly at “it make relo,” leaving several activities and the later comparisons unreported. Some details are also imprecise: film club participation dipped in 2005 and 2010, then rose, rather than remaining at a peak of 65 throughout; table tennis began at about 16, not 20. The overview is mostly a description of the chart rather than a clear summary of its main trends. The response is also 31 words below the required minimum. To improve, give a complete overview and select accurate start-and-end figures for the major rises and falls.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: it begins with an introduction, gives a general statement, and then discusses film club, table tennis and martial arts. This provides some grouping of information, and phrases such as “Overall” and “then” signal relationships. However, progression is difficult to follow because the response stops mid-sentence and does not cover all the activities. Several ideas are joined with commas or run together, as in “In the graph film is on the peak… Although slightly decreased…,” while the shift from film club to table tennis is not clearly structured. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and key comparisons, and connect complete sentences with clear references such as “By contrast” or “Meanwhile.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “participants,” “significant increase,” “decreased,” and “highest place,” so the reader can recognise the intended comparisons. However, the range is limited and several choices are unnatural or unclear, such as “on the peak,” “get recover his lost number,” and “on third number.” Spelling and word-form errors—including “melbourne,” “fil club,” and “begganing”—also make the writing less precise. Aim for standard trend language and accurate activity names; for example, say that a figure “recovered” or “rose again,” and describe a series as “the third-highest.” Proofreading spelling and choosing natural collocations would make the information easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “Although,” and uses past-tense verbs such as “decreased” and “was.” However, sentence control is inconsistent, and many clauses are incomplete or incorrectly formed. For example, “Although slightly decreased in 2005 and 2010” has no clear subject, while “then it get recover” combines verb forms incorrectly. The opening, “The graph describes on the amount,” also has an incomplete grammatical pattern. Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, with several sentences joined by commas. Practise writing complete subject–verb sentences, keeping past-tense forms consistent, and checking each sentence for a clear ending and appropriate punctuation.

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