Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph given illustrated the information about the number of participant had performed numerous activities at one socail center in melbourne which is locate in Australia during the periods from 2000 to 2020.

Overall, it had a cleared that the biggest participants were film club almost 65 during all over period.

however musical performaces had lower from 2000 to 2020. another noticable activity is that martial arts continued upward downward during the whole years.

Look at the details .The Musical activity has started in 2000 but the performue had not seen in 2000 the growth started from 2005 and steady reached at each year and in 2000 total number of musical particip

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the film club as the largest activity and mention changes in musical performances and martial arts, so the response includes some relevant features. However, the overview is unclear or inaccurate: musical performances did not decline; they rose from zero to about 18, while martial arts fluctuated rather than showing a continuing upward or downward trend. The response also ends mid-sentence and gives almost no usable comparisons or supporting figures for the other activities, especially table tennis and amateur dramatics. The required minimum of 150 words is not met, which further limits how fully the main features are reported. To improve, give a clear overview of the contrasting trends, then support it with accurate figures at key years.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview and a detail paragraph, which gives it a basic structure. However, progression is difficult to follow because the overview contains disconnected statements, such as “however musical performances had lower” and “another noticeable activity,” without clear links between the trends. The final paragraph shifts to musical performances but stops mid-sentence, leaving the information incomplete. Punctuation and paragraph transitions are also inconsistent. Use a clear sequence: introduce the graph, summarise the main trends, then group the detailed comparisons logically—for example, rising activities together and declining or fluctuating ones together. Complete each sentence and use linking words only where they clarify the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “participants,” “activities,” “periods,” and “steady,” and attempts to describe trends. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling and collocation errors make parts difficult to understand, such as “had performed numerous activities,” “the biggest participants,” and “continued upward downward.” There are also misspellings in “socail,” “performaces,” and “noticable.” Choose precise terms for chart data: people take part in activities, and figures rise, fall, remain stable or fluctuate. Proofreading spelling and using natural combinations such as “the number of participants” would make the description clearer and more appropriate for an academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including “The graph given illustrated…” and a sentence beginning “The Musical activity has started…”. However, grammatical control is inconsistent, and errors often make the intended meaning unclear. Examples include the agreement error in “the number of participant had performed,” the awkward tense construction “it had a cleared that,” and the incomplete final sentence, “in 2000 total number of musical particip…”. Capitalisation and punctuation are also unreliable, as in the lowercase “however” after a full stop and the space before the full stop in “details .” Use straightforward, complete sentences with consistent past-tense reporting, check singular/plural agreement, and ensure every sentence has a clear subject and verb.

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