Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates data of the participated in many activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

overall, participants in musical performance increased dramatically over the period however, participants in film club, martial arts are falctuated over the period meanwhile, table tennis is peak in the last, and amateur dramatics in the lowest.

in contrast, the particpants of table tennis is nearly 17 in 2000 but it slightly increased upto 20 in 2005 before and show steady in 2010 after that it rose rapidly at peak in 2020 with more than 55 participants. and musical performance is start from 2005 with zero participants and it rose upto more than 10 in 2010 and increased dramaticall nearly 20 participants in 2020, however film club and martial arts steady from 2000 to 2020 in film club about 65 particpants in mar

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify several relevant overall patterns, including the sharp rise in table-tennis participation and the decline in amateur dramatics. However, the overview is unclear and contains an inaccurate claim: film-club numbers were broadly stable, while martial arts fluctuated slightly; they did not both fluctuate in the same way. The report also gives only partial coverage of the data. It says musical performances began in 2005, although they were already at zero in 2000, and the final sentence breaks off before completing the comparison. The response is 132 words, below the required 150, which limits how fully you can report the main features. Add a complete account of the key trends and a few accurate comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview and a detail paragraph, and linking expressions such as “however” and “after that” show an effort to connect information. Nevertheless, progression is difficult to follow because the overview combines several trends in one unclear sentence, and the final paragraph moves between table tennis, musical performances, film club and martial arts without completing the comparisons. The response also ends abruptly at “in mar,” leaving the final idea unfinished. Use separate, purposeful paragraphs: first give a concise overview, then group the rising activities together and compare them with the stable or declining ones. Check that each linking word expresses the relationship intended.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “participants,” “increased,” “steady” and “rose rapidly,” so the main subject is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate, such as “data of the participated,” “is peak,” and “increased dramaticall.” Spelling errors including “falctuated” and “particpants” also make the writing less clear. Some phrases are imprecise: “in the lowest” does not clearly state that amateur dramatics had the fewest participants by 2020. Build a more accurate set of trend expressions and use them consistently, for example “remained stable,” “reached a peak,” and “fell to the lowest figure.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts longer sentences with contrast and time clauses, for example “it slightly increased … before … show steady in 2010,” but these structures are often faulty. Errors in verb forms and agreement occur throughout: “participants … increased,” “table tennis is nearly 17,” and “it rose … and increased” do not maintain accurate tense or sentence structure. Articles and sentence boundaries are also problematic, and the final sentence is incomplete. These errors sometimes make the intended relationships difficult to understand. Practise writing complete past-tense sentences about the chart, checking that each subject has a matching verb and that clauses are joined correctly. Shorter, accurate sentences would help before attempting more complex comparisons.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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