Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This graph illustrates information about participants at social center of Melbourne, Australia and number of participants in 2000 to 2020 period. The amateur dramatics started with 25 members in 2000 and after that their participants was decreased moreover their number got not top level rised and same situation with musical performances happened started with zero participants in 2005 subsequently their participants arose up.

The martial arts was fluctuated in all era with average of 35 to 40 participants afterwards numbers was constantly with little changes happened as compared with film industries their numbers was excellent figures with

70 almost participant in all period and in 2020 their numbers was slightly increased.

The table tennis started with 13 participants in 2000 after ward their numbers slightly higher afterwards in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify several relevant activities and some broad trends, including the decline in amateur dramatics and the rise in musical performances and table tennis. However, the report is incomplete and only minimally summarises the graph: the table-tennis sentence ends without stating its final level or clearly describing its strong growth, and there is no clear overview of the main comparisons. Some figures are inaccurate: film-club participation was around 60–66, not “70 almost” throughout, and musical performances began at zero in 2000, not 2005. The response also falls 21 words short of the required minimum, limiting the detail provided. To improve, give a concise overview and accurately compare the major changes across the full period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to group information by activities, and phrases such as “after that” and “in 2020” indicate sequence. However, the ideas are not arranged into a clear report structure: there is no distinct overview, and the discussion moves from amateur dramatics to musical performances, then martial arts and film, before ending abruptly with table tennis. Several links are unclear, particularly “moreover their number got not top level rised,” which makes the relationship between ideas difficult to follow. Use separate paragraphs for an overview and the main comparisons, and organise the details by trend—for example, declining, stable, and rising participation. Clearer sentence boundaries and more precise referencing would also improve progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “participants,” “fluctuated,” “decreased,” and “slightly increased,” so the reader can recognise the general subject and some trends. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or awkward, such as “top level rised,” “film industries,” and “their numbers was excellent figures.” These choices sometimes obscure the intended meaning, especially when describing the film club’s consistently high figures. Aim for precise graph language and natural collocations, such as “rose steadily,” “remained relatively stable,” and “participant numbers.” Check word forms and spelling as well, including “afterward” where “afterwards” or “subsequently” would fit the sentence.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts longer sentences using time links such as “after that” and “afterwards,” but control is weak and errors frequently make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “their participants was decreased,” “The martial arts was fluctuated,” and “their numbers was constantly,” where verb forms and subject–verb agreement are faulty. Sentence construction is also incomplete in the final table-tennis statement, which does not finish the comparison, and punctuation does not consistently separate ideas. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, for example, “Participation in amateur dramatics fell over the period.” Then add controlled comparisons using clauses such as “while” or “whereas,” checking agreement and tense in each sentence.

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