Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph shows the number of people participants in different activities in one social centre in Melbourne, Australia during 2000 to 2020.

We saw that the participation of peoples in Film club is constat 65 to 70 people in those year. Martial arts has only 37 in 2000 to 2005 and then reached to 40 in next 5 year thats an golden era for it.Then start falling in next 5 year to 36 and then to where its started. But Amaterur dramatics is just rose in between 2000 to 2005 to 30 to 35 then started to decline and in next 15 years it goes to only 7 participants.

Table tennis is started for very low 18 to 20 people in ten years but next 10 years are very crutial for it and its increase very sharply and gain int

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies several relevant activities and attempts to describe changes, including the decline in amateur dramatics and the later rise in table tennis. However, coverage is incomplete: the account ends mid-sentence at “gain int,” and musical performances are not reported at all. Several figures and trends are also inaccurate. For example, film club stayed around 60–66 participants, rather than “65 to 70,” while martial arts fluctuated around the mid-30s and did not reach 40. The description of amateur dramatics also overstates its early rise. There is no clear overview of the main comparisons. The response is 10 words below the required minimum. To improve, give a concise overview, report the major trends accurately, and complete the account of all five activities.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is some basic organisation: the opening introduces the graph, and the following sentences discuss activities in turn. Time markers such as “in 2000 to 2005,” “next 5 year,” and “next 15 years” help show sequence. However, the response has no clear overview or concluding summary, and the final sentence is unfinished, so the progression breaks off rather than covering the full chart. Connections between ideas are often awkward or unclear, as in “then reached to 40 in next 5 year thats an golden era for it.Then start falling.” Paragraphing is also limited, with the information presented as one block. Grouping the main upward, downward, and stable trends into clear paragraphs and using accurate linking phrases would make the report easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “participation,” “decline,” “increase,” and “sharply,” and these choices show an attempt to describe trends rather than merely list figures. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning difficult to interpret. Examples include “people participants,” “participation of peoples,” “constat,” and “crutial.” Informal or imprecise expressions such as “golden era” are not suitable for a neutral academic report, while “gain int” is incomplete and unclear. Aim for standard trend language and accurate collocations, such as “remained relatively stable,” “rose sharply,” and “fell steadily.” Proofreading spelling and avoiding conversational expressions would improve clarity and appropriacy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example by using “but” and “then,” but the range of sentence structures is limited and errors are frequent. Problems with verb forms and sentence construction appear in “Table tennis is started” and “its increase very sharply,” while “Martial arts has only 37 … and then reached to 40” shifts awkwardly between present and past forms. Articles and agreement are also problematic in “thats an golden era,” and punctuation is missing or misplaced, particularly where sentences run together: “for it.Then start falling.” These errors sometimes make relationships between events hard to follow. Use consistent past tense for the historical data, build complete sentences, and check articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries.

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