Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrate the information about the numbers of participants for serval activities at the social centre in Melbourne, Australia in a year from 2000 to 2020.
It can be observed form the graph that in year 2000 there is not any participant ( 0 number) taken admission in musical activity while, Flim club are greater in number (approx 62). Martial arts participants number starts from around 35 and table tennis is like 15.
It can be seen that in year 2010 all the streams of citizens was gradully increased wheras Amateur dramatics decreased. In 2020, Table tennis reached peak level which was around 55. compartievely Flim club and martial arts was reached their intial level when was in 2017.Amateur dramatics significantly fall to 5.
Overall, Over passing years the pupil are taken participation in every activity and major changes was in amateur dramatics and table tennis.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you have identified some main features, the reporting is inconsistent and lacks a clear overview of the trends. For instance, the description of the year 2010 is vague, and the comparison of data points is often unclear or inaccurate (e.g., mentioning 2017 when the graph ends in 2020). To improve, ensure you provide a clear summary of the overall trends in the introduction or overview paragraph and provide more precise data comparisons throughout the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression of ideas is hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of cohesive devices. Transitions between sentences are often missing or mechanical, such as the abrupt shift between describing different activities. The use of referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison of data over time. To improve, use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'in contrast', 'subsequently', 'meanwhile') to connect your ideas more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'taken admission' instead of 'enrolled' or 'participated', and 'streams of citizens' which is not appropriate for this context. Spelling errors like 'Flim' (Film) and 'wheras' (whereas) also detract from the quality of the writing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'reached a plateau', and ensure you proofread for basic spelling accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The line graph illustrate', 'all the streams... was gradully increased') and tense usage. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'compartievely Flim club and martial arts was reached their intial level'. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent tense usage when describing past data.
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