Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The Line chart depicts the Number of people took part in the five different kind of games from the year 2000 to 2020 in Australia.
From the eye of the bird, the line graph provides insights into the number of people doing activities, focusing on five types: film club, martial arts, amateur dramatics, table tennis and musical performance. Notably, the perceived musical performance in the year 2020 was considerably high, while actual rates in 2000 and 2005 represented a joint lowest point at 0.
Upon initial observation, the perceived rates for table tennis was ranked highest at nearly 50 in 2020, whereas in 2005 and 2010 the number of participants in table tennis had similar approximately 20 each. Additionally, in the actual data for martial arts accounted for the smallest proportion at just under 38, in year 2010 was slightly higher about 2.
From the year 2005 to 2020 the number of participants in amateur dramatics a general downward trend rates can be observed.
Finally, the film club constituted the highest number of participants than the others.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is inconsistent and lacks clarity. While you identify some trends, the description of the data is often confusing, such as the claim that the film club had the highest number of participants, which contradicts the visual evidence. Additionally, some data points are described inaccurately (e.g., 'under 38' for martial arts). To improve, ensure you carefully verify the data points against the graph and provide a more structured overview that clearly distinguishes between the different activities. The summary lacks a cohesive comparison of the overall trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'From the eye of the bird,' which is not a standard academic phrase. Transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt, making it difficult to follow the comparison of data. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when discussing specific years and activities. To reach a higher band, focus on using linking words more naturally and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that contributes to the overall summary of the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'perceived musical performance' and 'different kind of games.' The use of 'from the eye of the bird' is an inappropriate idiom for an academic report. While you attempt to use some descriptive language, the lack of precision in reporting the data (e.g., 'similar approximately 20 each') limits the effectiveness of your communication. Expanding your range of reporting verbs and adverbs would help improve your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'Number of people took part' (should be 'The number of people who took part') and 'in year 2010 was slightly higher about 2' (missing subject/verb agreement and preposition usage). Punctuation is also inconsistent, and there are several instances of awkward syntax. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions when describing trends and data points. Proofreading for basic sentence construction errors will significantly enhance your accuracy.
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