Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates data the figure of attendees of various activities at a particular social center in Australia, Melbourne city between the time 2000 and 2020 Overall, Table Tennis and Musical performances experienced an upward trend, while Amateur dramatics demonstrated a downward trend. Film club and Martial arts experienced a fluctuated, but were qual by the end of the period. Table tennis initiated with around 15 participants in 2000 and depicted a slight increase; in 2010 their attendees was 20, afterward it the figure of attendees surges, and by the end of the period attendees figure was around 50. Musical performance initiate their activity with 0 attendees in 2005 and increase and ended up with approximately 20 participants in 2020. In 2000 Amateur dramatics attendees was around 15 and fall to approximately 5 attendees . Film club and Martial arts both experienced a fluctuation, where film club initiate with around 65 attendees and ended up with the same figure along with Martial art also initiate with 35 participants and finished with same figure.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers all parts of the task by identifying the main trends and providing relevant data points. You successfully categorized the activities into those with upward, downward, and fluctuating trends. However, the analysis could be improved by ensuring data accuracy; for instance, you mentioned the Film club and Martial arts ended with the same figure, but the graph shows them at different values (approximately 65 and 35 respectively). Additionally, the overview is slightly cluttered by including too many specific details that belong in the body paragraphs. To reach a higher band, focus on highlighting the most significant differences and overall patterns more clearly in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into a logical structure, beginning with an overview and followed by supporting details. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'initiated with' and 'ended up with' are used frequently, which limits the flow of the text. Paragraphing is also an issue; the entire response is presented as one block of text, which hinders readability. To improve, use clear paragraph breaks to separate the overview from the detailed analysis and incorporate a wider variety of linking words such as 'consequently', 'in contrast', or 'furthermore' to connect ideas more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, such as 'upward trend', 'downward trend', and 'fluctuated'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'qual' (likely meant 'equal') and 'depicted a slight increase; in 2010 their attendees was 20'. The repetition of 'attendees' and 'figure' makes the writing feel less sophisticated. To improve, try to use synonyms like 'participants', 'individuals', or 'numbers' and ensure that collocations are accurate to enhance the precision of your report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('attendees was', 'their attendees was') and awkward sentence construction ('afterward it the figure of attendees surges'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of semicolons and periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will significantly improve your score.
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