Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates information on the number of participants that was involved in the Melbourne social center at Australia between year 2000 to 2020.
Overall, there were fluctuations at the number of participants in the social events, some experienced a steady decline, it was also noted to have experience a drastic increase too. while one started its operation 5 years after other had begun theirs.
In year 2000, film club took the lead with approximately 64 participants in attendance, which by 2010 it dramatically dropped to 60 participants before having a slight rise in attendance which finally led to about 67 participants in total by 2020. Moving forward, martial arts who started with nearly 40 participants in year 2000, constantly experience fluctuation in the number of participants at each given year.
Further more, amateur dramatics and table tennis had something noticeable between them. While one experience a drastic increase the other had a relatively drop in its participants which led to it fall in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify the film club and martial arts trends, the description of amateur dramatics and table tennis is vague, failing to provide specific data points or clear comparisons. The overview is present but lacks clarity, as it uses overly general language like 'drastic increase' without specifying which activity it refers to. To improve, ensure you provide specific figures for all categories mentioned and clearly distinguish between the trends of each activity. The summary of the main features needs to be more precise to meet the requirements of a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'Moving forward' and 'Further more' are used to transition between ideas, but the logical flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed. The referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the final paragraph where you mention 'one' and 'the other' without explicitly naming the activities, which forces the reader to guess the subject. Improving the use of referencing and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher score. You rely on repetitive phrasing such as 'number of participants' and 'fluctuation'. There are also some minor collocation errors, such as 'at the number of participants' instead of 'in the number of participants'. While you attempt to use some descriptive language like 'dramatically dropped' and 'slight rise', the range is limited. To achieve a higher band, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for trends and avoid repeating the same sentence structures when describing data changes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For instance, 'the number of participants that was involved' should be 'who were involved', and 'at Australia' should be 'in Australia'. There are also issues with verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement, such as 'martial arts who started... constantly experience fluctuation'. Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentences are run-on or lack necessary commas. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and preposition usage will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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