Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of people who participated in four activities at a community centre in Melbourne, Australia between 2000 and 2020.
Overall, film club had the highest number of participants throughout the period. Participants in table tennis and musical performances were increased while amateur dramatics decreased. Meanwhile, martial arts trend remained stable.
In 2000, the number of individuals in film club was at around 65. By 2010 it slightly dropped to roughly 60, before recovering to their initial position. Martial arts flucuated throughout the time, beginning with nearly 35 participants, in 2015 around 30 and remained stable till the end.
On the other hand, table tennis had approximately 15 participants in 2000, it rose slowly before proliferating to more than half by 2020. Music performances had nil people who were interested to participate; however from 2005 to 2010 it increases dramatically to one tenth and then grew steadily till 2020. Meanwhile, in 2000, participants in amateur dramatics were at around 25, before declining drastically to reach it's low level at approximately less than 10 participants.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the overall trends and specific data points. You successfully identified the main trends, such as the film club's dominance and the decline in amateur dramatics. However, the description of the data is occasionally imprecise; for instance, stating 'proliferating to more than half' is vague, and the description of the musical performances starting at 'nil' is slightly inaccurate given the visual representation. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are cited with greater precision and that comparisons between categories are more explicitly drawn throughout the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear, and you use cohesive devices such as 'Meanwhile', 'On the other hand', and 'however' to link sentences. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally ambiguous, such as in the sentence 'before recovering to their initial position', where the pronoun 'their' does not clearly refer back to the singular 'film club'. Improving the variety and flow of these cohesive links would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'fluctuated', and 'declining'. However, there are some instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'proliferating' to describe a numerical increase, which is stylistically inappropriate in this context. Additionally, there are minor errors in collocation and phrasing, such as 'one tenth' (which is unclear) and 'it's low level' (a grammatical error). To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that collocations are natural and accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. Examples include 'Participants in table tennis and musical performances were increased' (passive voice error), 'it increases dramatically' (tense inconsistency), and 'it's low level' (incorrect use of the possessive pronoun). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the score. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and the correct use of apostrophes.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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