Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the proportion of data regarding different activities held in the social center at Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
It is clear from the graph that in the year 2000 the film club was considered as a popular activity as it had around 63 participants. On the other hand Musical performance did not have a single participant. There were 15 and 25 number of participants in activities of table tennis and Amateur dramatics , martial art had 38 number of participants. From the year 2005 to 2010 number of participants of film club fell down to 60 meanwhile, musical performances number of participants increased smoothly to 10. Table tennis and Amateur dramatics fluctuated in 2005 but became equal to 20 number of participants in 2010, martial art also increased its number of participants from 31 to 39 in a 5 years of span.
Number of participants shot up sharply from 20 to 55 in the span of 2015 to 2020. On the other side participants number dropped suddenly for amateur dramatics till the year 2020. Film club had not shown much variation in terms of participants like musical performances and martial art where it increased to 20 and 38 number of participants respectively.
To conclude, film club considers as the popular among the people in comparison to all, also there had been a rise in playing table tennis.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a general overview of the data, but it lacks a clear, analytical summary of the main trends. While you identify some specific data points, the report is somewhat disjointed and fails to highlight the most significant features effectively. For example, you mention specific numbers for 2000 and 2010, but the comparison between activities is inconsistent. To improve, ensure you group data logically—perhaps by comparing the growth of the film club against the decline of amateur dramatics—rather than listing figures chronologically. The overview should clearly state the overall trend, such as the film club's sustained popularity versus the fluctuations seen in other activities.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression between sentences is sometimes weak. You use some cohesive devices like 'On the other hand' and 'To conclude', but the transitions between the middle paragraphs are abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear; for instance, in the third paragraph, the phrase 'Number of participants shot up' lacks a clear subject, making it difficult to follow which activity is being discussed. Improving the use of cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly and ensuring that every sentence clearly refers back to the specific activity would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuated', 'variations', and 'proportion'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'film club considers as the popular' (should be 'is considered popular') and 'in a 5 years of span' (should be 'in a five-year span'). Some phrasing is also repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'number of participants'. To reach a higher band, try to vary your vocabulary by using synonyms like 'attendance figures', 'levels of engagement', or 'popularity', and focus on more precise collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('musical performances number of participants increased') and awkward phrasing ('martial art had 38 number of participants'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and capitalization. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that articles are used correctly, will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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