Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph depicts the information about the numbers of individuals at public centre in Melbourne, Australia indulged themselves in activities of Film club, Martial arts, Amateur dramatics, Table tennis and Musical performances for the timespan 2000 to 2020.

At a fleeting glance, Film club accounted for the higher proportion than other participants, started with 64 in 2000 was almost remain steady throughout the decades. Whereas, Musical performance was not that much active in 2000 and 2005. However, it showed progressive improvement from 2010 to 2020, starting from 10 and 19 in the end.

Obsevinfg further,

To conclude it, Filmclub was already at huge at that time, however musical perfomance was not doing we

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the ability to fully address the task. The summary is incomplete, as it cuts off mid-sentence and fails to cover all the data categories provided in the graph. While the introduction attempts to paraphrase the prompt, the body paragraphs lack the necessary detail and comparative analysis required for an Academic Task 1 response. Because the response is unfinished and lacks a comprehensive overview of the main trends, it does not adequately address the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The response lacks a logical structure due to its incomplete nature. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the text ends abruptly with an unfinished sentence, which prevents the development of a coherent argument or summary. Cohesive devices are used in a very limited and mechanical way (e.g., 'At a fleeting glance', 'Whereas', 'However'). The lack of a proper conclusion and the fragmented body paragraphs make it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of information. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are linked smoothly throughout the entire report.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is basic and contains several errors in word choice and collocation. For example, 'indulged themselves in activities' is unnatural in this context, and 'was not that much active' is grammatically incorrect and imprecise. There are also spelling errors such as 'Obsevinfg' and 'perfomance'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the data accurately; instead of using precise terms to describe trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'experienced a steady increase'), the writer relies on simplistic phrasing. Expanding your range of academic vocabulary and focusing on accurate spelling will be essential for higher band scores.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Film club... was almost remain steady'), incorrect preposition use, and sentence fragments. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. The incomplete sentences at the end of the text further demonstrate a lack of control over sentence construction. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and practicing the use of complex sentences to describe trends and comparisons accurately.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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