Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
As far as this graphic description is concerned, the given graph shows the information about **the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia, from 2000 to 2020**. Overall, it is clear that there are some noticeable trends and differences. Some activities increase, while others decrease, and a few remain relatively stable.
At the beginning of the period, **the number of participants in different activities** was at a certain level, compared with **the other activities**. Over the following years, there were some changes, with **an increasing or decreasing trend** being observed in most categories. However, **some activities remained relatively stable** can also be seen.
By the end of the period, **different levels of participation in the activities** can be identified, showing that **some activities became more popular, while others experienced a decline or remained stable**.
In conclusion, the graph presents a clear pattern of change in **the participation levels of different activities at the social centre**, with some categories showing growth and others showing a decline or stability.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The response fails to address the core requirement of the task, which is to report on the data provided in the graph. While the introduction acknowledges the topic, the body paragraphs are entirely devoid of specific data, trends, or comparisons. Instead of citing figures, dates, or specific activity names (e.g., 'film club' or 'martial arts'), the writer uses vague placeholders like 'some activities' and 'a certain level'. Consequently, the response does not select or report any main features. To improve, you must describe the actual data points, such as the starting and ending values for each activity and the specific years where significant changes occurred.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is structured into logical paragraphs, and there is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'At the beginning of the period', and 'In conclusion'. However, because the content lacks substance, the progression of ideas is non-existent. The text reads as a template rather than a report. While the paragraphing is appropriate for an IELTS task, the lack of information makes it impossible to demonstrate a clear logical progression of data. To improve, ensure that each paragraph contains specific evidence from the graph to support the topic sentences.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is repetitive and generic. Phrases like 'some activities', 'a certain level', and 'an increasing or decreasing trend' are used repeatedly throughout the text. There is no attempt to use specific vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained constant', or 'dramatically'. The range is very limited and does not demonstrate the ability to describe trends or comparisons effectively. To improve, you should learn and apply topic-specific vocabulary for describing graphs, such as 'significant growth', 'gradual decline', and 'plateaued'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The grammatical structures are generally simple and repetitive. While there are few major errors in sentence construction, the complexity is very low. The writer relies on basic sentence patterns, such as 'The graph shows...' or 'There were some changes...'. There is a lack of complex sentence structures or varied grammatical forms. While the sentences are mostly accurate, the lack of range and the repetitive nature of the writing prevent it from reaching a higher band. To improve, try to incorporate more complex sentence structures, such as using subordinating conjunctions (e.g., 'while', 'although', 'whereas') to compare data points.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.