Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia during the period 20 years.

Overall, The film club highest numbers of participants, around 65 in 2000 to 2020.. In addition, the lowest numbers of participants in 2000 to 2010 in that time musical performances in tasks, after that during to 2010 to 2020 that time amateur dramatics in only 5 to 25 people are participants in that task.

Firstly, the number of participants part in martial arts remained at around 35 throughout the period. In 2010 to 2020 in table tennis in that activity at list 55 people are participants after 2000 to 2010 that time only 15 people are played.

finally, participation in amateun dramatics fluants during th

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have attempted to identify some main features, the analysis is incomplete and fragmented. The summary is hindered by the unfinished final sentence and a lack of clear, accurate reporting of the data trends. Several figures mentioned are difficult to verify against the graph, and the overall overview is not sufficiently developed to provide a clear summary of the information. To improve, ensure you complete all sentences and provide a more structured comparison of the data points across the entire period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay lacks a logical flow and clear paragraph structure. While there is an attempt to use transition words like 'Firstly' and 'finally', the internal cohesion is weak due to grammatical errors and incomplete thoughts. The referencing is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas. The paragraphing is inconsistent, and the abrupt ending of the text further disrupts the coherence of the response. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices more accurately and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified topic that is fully developed before moving to the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The range of vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms such as 'numbers', 'participants', and 'activities'. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'amateun' and 'fluants', which detract from the clarity of the writing. The word choice is often imprecise, making it difficult to convey the trends in the graph accurately. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider variety of vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'peaked', or 'dramatically increased', and ensure that you check your spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the film club highest numbers'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward sentence structures. The attempt at complex sentences is often faulty, leading to confusion. For example, 'during to 2010 to 2020 that time amateur dramatics in only 5 to 25 people' is grammatically incoherent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and proofreading your work to eliminate simple errors in articles and prepositions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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