Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The give line graph depict the information about the plenty of competitors were participated in 5 various indoor activities in Melbourne, Australia and the give time period were two decades from 2000 to 2020.

Overall, it can be clearly seen that, the top position was held by film club activity throughout the time. However, the martial arts reported continuous fluctuation, table tennis and musical performances were seen gradually increase. Meanwhile, the amateur dramatics was suddenly downward tread during the following years.

To begin with, the maximum number of candidates were observed in film club, which was noticed around 64 in initial year, but after a decade it was slightly decreased. After 2010, the ratio of the film club participants was rocketed up. In contrast, the martial arts was notified approximately 38 in 2000 and the number of the candidates were fluctuated in 5 years. Lastly, the amateur dramatics was reported nearby 25, While, after few years the number participants was suddenly decreased.

Furthermore, the minimum candidates were seen in the table tennis in 2000. The ratio of participants was increased in the following year and at that point amateur dramatics was touched in 2010. After 2010, the participants was suddenly increased. Lastly, the musical performances was introduced in 2005 and following year it was gradually rose and reached 20 in the final year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all parts of the task by identifying the main trends and comparing the five activities. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, stating that film club 'slightly decreased' after a decade is a vague interpretation of the data, and the description of amateur dramatics as having a 'downward tread' is imprecise. While the main features are highlighted, the report lacks a clear, analytical focus, and some data points are described with confusing terminology, such as 'ratio' when referring to raw numbers of participants. To improve, ensure that data points are cited more accurately and that the comparison between categories is more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. There is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or misused. For example, 'While, after few years' is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. Additionally, the transition between sentences within paragraphs can be repetitive. While the overall structure is coherent, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the occasional awkward phrasing prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Improving the variety of cohesive devices would enhance the logical flow of the report.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of unnatural word choices, such as 'plenty of competitors were participated', 'downward tread', and 'rocketed up' (which is often too informal or misused in this context). The student relies on basic descriptors and occasionally uses words incorrectly, such as 'ratio' instead of 'number' or 'participants'. To achieve a higher score, the student should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('the number participants was', 'the participants was suddenly increased'), incorrect verb tenses ('were participated'), and missing articles ('in initial year'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of these errors indicates a lack of control over complex structures. To improve, the student should focus on basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage, before attempting more complex grammatical forms.

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