Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the details about some of the players who participate for various activities between 2000 to 2020 at one social center in city of Australia, Melbourne.
Overall, participants actively participate in a Film club as it seems as increasing throughout years. While, there is significant downfall of Amateur dramatics as very few people interested in this activity.
At first place, from the year 2000 to 2010,all activities excluding musical performances was in demand. Individuals play their role in all activities. From 2005,Musical performances came into area and by the year 2010,the amount of participants rise.
Furthermore, Other activities such as table tennis and musical performance has sudden increase from 2010 to 2020.Few Individuals participate in Amateur dramatics and decreases by year 2020.Martial arts and film club participants rise throughout the years as 40 to 70 people involved in these activity.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you have identified some main features, the reporting is inconsistent and lacks precision. For example, you mention 'all activities excluding musical performances was in demand' between 2000 and 2010, but the graph shows musical performances starting in 2005. The description of trends is often vague, such as 'rise throughout the years', without specifying the starting or ending values to support your claims. To improve, ensure you provide specific data points to illustrate the trends and ensure the summary covers all categories clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is often hindered by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Overall' and 'Furthermore', the connection between sentences is sometimes mechanical or confusing. For instance, the transition 'At first place' is not standard for academic writing. The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus would help create a more coherent response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You rely on basic verbs like 'participate', 'rise', and 'increase' throughout the text. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'players who participate for various activities' (should be 'participants in') and 'came into area' (should be 'were introduced'). Some phrasing is unnatural, such as 'significant downfall of Amateur dramatics'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including more precise verbs and nouns related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'a steady decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. You struggle with subject-verb agreement, such as 'participants rise' (should be 'the number of participants rose') and 'musical performance has sudden increase' (should be 'saw a sudden increase'). There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases, such as 'at one social center in city of Australia, Melbourne'. Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors. Focusing on basic accuracy, particularly tense consistency and subject-verb agreement, will significantly improve your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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