Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph compares number of participants by activity at social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Overall, it is noted that film club activity had the highest number of participants throughout 2000 to 2020. In martial art activity, figure showed fluctuations throughout. The figure of those participate in table tennis, had the figure approximately 18 to 20 in 2000 to 2005, figure of 20 participants remained same from [redacted phone], after 2010 to 2020 the figure touched approximately 55 which is the highest upward trend among other activities. Activity of amateur dramatics showed a little upward trend from 26 to 26 roundabout participants in 2000 to 2005, after that this activity faced downward trend from 27 to 8 participants from 2005 to 2020 which was the lowest number in 2020 among other activities.
Activity of musical performances, the participants showed zero interest from 2000 to 2005, after that years figured of participants touched approximately 19 from 2005 to 2020. The participants showed highest interest in film club activity throughout 2000 to 2020 as compared to other activities. In martial art activity, the interest of participants fluctuated with the passage of times.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, including the trends for all activities. However, the reporting is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. While you identify the highest and lowest points, the overview is slightly underdeveloped. For instance, you mention the film club had the highest participation but fail to contrast this effectively with the dramatic decline in amateur dramatics. The data points are generally accurate, but the description of the trends could be more analytical. To improve, focus on grouping the activities by their trajectory (e.g., those that increased versus those that declined) rather than listing them one by one, which would provide a more cohesive summary of the data.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive and mechanical. Phrases like 'after that' and 'the figure of' are used frequently, which makes the flow feel a bit stilted. There is a lack of variety in linking words, and some sentences feel disconnected from the previous ones. To reach a higher band, try to use a wider range of transition signals such as 'subsequently,' 'in contrast,' or 'meanwhile,' and ensure that referencing (e.g., 'this trend,' 'the former') is used to connect ideas more fluidly across sentences.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely heavily on basic terms like 'figure,' 'activity,' and 'participants.' There is also some awkward phrasing, such as 'roundabout participants' and 'touched approximately 19.' To improve, you should incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' 'experienced a sharp decline,' or 'reached a peak.' Avoiding the repetition of the word 'figure' by using synonyms like 'the number of attendees' or 'participation levels' would also significantly enhance the quality of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You frequently omit articles (e.g., 'at social centre' instead of 'at a social centre') and struggle with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency (e.g., 'figure of 20 participants remained same'). Some sentences are grammatically awkward, such as 'the participants showed zero interest from 2000 to 2005, after that years figured of participants touched approximately 19.' Improving your control over basic grammar, particularly articles and prepositions, will help ensure that your meaning is always clear and professional.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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