Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Intro:

The line graph below display gives information on the numbers of participants and activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Overview:

Number of participants by activity [redacted phone].

First one have Film club is start from the year 2000 and number start near this 70 and going its straight.

Film club its working near 60,70.

Second is Martial arts is start of the year 2000 and start the number of 37 and its working under 30,40.

Third one is Amateur dramatics its start 2000 and number start in 20 and next 2005 year its going 2005 its reach 30 and next move is lower side and last year 2020 its reached nearby 0.its not good working then its values decrease.

Last one is Table tennis its start 2000 year and the number start 10,50.If year increase then increase the value.Last year 2020 the number of value reached 50 number.

Last Musical performances is start in this year 2005 and value start with 0 and increasing the value last year 2020 its value reached 15 number.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to describe the data but fails to provide a clear overview of the main trends. The information is presented as a list of individual data points rather than a summary of significant features. For example, the description of 'Amateur dramatics' and 'Table tennis' focuses on isolated numbers rather than identifying the overall upward or downward trajectory. The response lacks a clear comparison between the activities, which is a key requirement of the task. To improve, you should group the activities by their trends (e.g., those that increased versus those that declined) and provide a concise summary paragraph that highlights the most significant changes over the twenty-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response lacks logical progression. It is structured as a series of disconnected sentences rather than cohesive paragraphs. There is a lack of linking words or transition signals to guide the reader through the data. For instance, the transition between 'Second is Martial arts' and 'Third one is Amateur dramatics' is mechanical and repetitive. The use of referencing is also weak, making it difficult to follow the flow of information. To improve, use cohesive devices such as 'in contrast,' 'meanwhile,' or 'subsequently' to link your sentences and ensure that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive, often relying on basic verbs like 'start,' 'increase,' and 'reached.' There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'its not good working' and 'going its straight.' The phrasing is often unnatural, which hinders the clarity of the report. To achieve a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' 'experienced a steady decline,' or 'showed a significant upward trend.' Expanding your range of descriptive adjectives and adverbs will also help you describe the data more accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The line graph... display gives'), incorrect tense usage (e.g., 'is start from'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or lack proper punctuation, making the text difficult to read. There is no evidence of complex sentence structures. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and using consistent tenses when describing past data. Practicing the use of relative clauses and subordinating conjunctions will help you move toward more complex and accurate writing.

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