Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the number of people registered for different activities at one of the public centers in Melbourne, Australia from 2000 to 2020.
Overall, it can be seen that activities like fan clubs and martial arts had shown a fluctuation. The other significant feature is that musical performance and table tennis had shown overall growth. In contrast to this, amateur dramatics had shown declined
The number of participants in fan clubs oscillate between 60 and 70 in all these four years while in table tennis there were around 18 players in 2000 which increased to 20 in 2005 and after 2010 it shows sudden growth nearly up to 50.
In contrast, musical performance started at 2005 shows drastic growth and had nearly 20 contestant in 2020. In addition to this martial arts fluctuate between 30 and 40 between 2000 to 2020 while amateur dramatic rose to 30 in 2005 then it shows exceptional decrement about 5 contestants in 2000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you state that amateur dramatics had 'exceptional decrement about 5 contestants in 2000', which contradicts the graph showing a rise in the early years. Additionally, the description of musical performance starting in 2005 is unclear, and the data points for fan clubs and martial arts are described in a way that lacks precision. While you identify trends like growth and fluctuation, the misinterpretation of the figures prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that data points are read accurately and that comparisons are clearly linked to the specific years provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or misused. For example, 'In contrast to this' and 'In addition to this' are used, but the logical flow between sentences is occasionally disrupted by the inaccurate data reporting. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as when you mention 'these four years' without clearly defining the time periods being discussed. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help create a smoother progression of ideas throughout the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuation', 'oscillate', and 'drastic growth'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'exceptional decrement' and 'contestant' (when referring to participants). Some phrases are also grammatically imprecise, such as 'shows sudden growth nearly up to 50'. To reach a higher band, focus on using vocabulary that is more precise and natural in the context of describing statistical data, and ensure that word forms are used correctly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include tense inconsistencies (e.g., 'had shown' vs 'shows'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing like 'amateur dramatic rose to 30 in 2005 then it shows exceptional decrement'. Subject-verb agreement is also inconsistent. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the writing from reaching a higher level of accuracy. Focusing on proofreading for tense consistency and subject-verb agreement would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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