Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph shows the numbers of participants for diffrerent activities at one social in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. There are categoized in five years.

Overall, the illustrates the highest participants are Film club and Table tennis. However the least participants are Amateur dramatics and Musical performances.

In 2000 to 2020 most of Australian people are enjoyed and celebrated in Film club and Table tennis by 65% and 55% number of people participants at one social centre in Melbourne. However the least people in Australian aren't like participants are Amateur dramatics by 5% nevertherless they show low interest in among all.

In Martial arts and Musical performances are people showing similar participants activities by 38% and 18% in the period 2000 to 2010.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified some main features, the analysis is incomplete and lacks a clear overview of the trends over the 20-year period. The data interpretation is also problematic; you have misinterpreted the graph by assigning percentages to the number of participants, which is not supported by the data provided. To improve, ensure you accurately report the units of measurement and provide a more comprehensive summary of the changes over time, rather than just listing isolated figures.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The introduction is poorly phrased, and the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is disjointed. While some cohesive devices like 'However' and 'In' are used, they are often applied incorrectly or in a repetitive manner. The referencing is unclear, and the overall structure does not effectively guide the reader through the data. To improve, focus on using linking words to connect ideas logically and ensure each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that relates back to the main trends in the graph.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and contains several errors that impede clarity, such as 'diffrerent', 'categoized', and 'nevertherless'. You rely on basic phrasing and struggle with collocations, such as 'most of Australian people are enjoyed'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends or data points accurately. To improve, focus on learning specific academic vocabulary for describing graphs, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant increase', and pay closer attention to spelling and word forms to ensure your writing is professional and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often obscure the intended meaning. Examples include 'There are categoized in five years', 'the illustrates the highest participants', and 'the least people in Australian aren't like participants'. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the basic sentences used are often riddled with errors in subject-verb agreement and preposition usage. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically the use of articles, verb tenses, and pluralization. Practicing the difference between active and passive voice will also help you describe the data more accurately.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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