Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph below illustrates information on the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020
The actives that are divided by participants is film club,martial arts, amateur dramatics ,table tennis and musical performances
In comparison, film club has 65 participants and these were slight increasing until 2020. Whereas martial arts has 35 participants in the year of 2005 and then slightly decreased then uphilled to 39 participants and sank to 30 participants.From [redacted phone] it slip back to 30-31 participants
Compared to martial arts amateur dramatics has plummeted participants from 2005 to 2010 and has drastically decreased.
In Table tennis has participants until 2010 it maintained 15 participants and climbed to 20 participants . There was an substantial decrease in musical performances in 2000 and then drastically increased in 2020 by 13 participants
compared to all the activities above film club maintained a good number of participants and skyrocketed .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph, but the analysis is inconsistent and lacks clarity. While you identify some trends, the description of the data is often inaccurate or confusing, such as the claim that musical performances 'drastically increased' when the data shows a very minor change. The overview is weak; simply stating that the film club 'skyrocketed' is insufficient to capture the overall trends of the five categories. To improve, ensure you accurately report the figures and focus on clear, comparative trends rather than listing individual data points in a disjointed manner.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a logical structure. The paragraphs are poorly defined, and the progression of ideas is disjointed. While you use some cohesive devices like 'In comparison' and 'Whereas', they are often used incorrectly or do not effectively link the sentences. The lack of clear paragraphing makes the response difficult to follow. To improve, organize your report into a clear introduction, an overview of the main trends, and two body paragraphs that group related activities together. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You rely on basic verbs like 'has', 'increased', and 'decreased' throughout the text. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'uphilled' (not a standard term) and 'slip back'. The phrasing 'skyrocketed' is used to describe a trend that is not clearly supported by the data. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise vocabulary for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a marginal rise'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The actives that are divided... is'), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'In Table tennis has participants...'). The range of sentence structures is limited, and the punctuation is inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms. Practicing complex sentences, such as using 'while' or 'although' to contrast data, will also help improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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