Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

According to the graph, In the period of 2000 to 2010, Number of participants for different activities gathered at one social center situated in Melbourne, Approximately 0 to 18 participants visited for tale tennis, and their trend increases year, and approximate 18 to 25 participants visited social center for amateur dramatics activities, but from 2005 their trend to visit social center for this type activity starts decrease, and in 2020 i around on 0, and around 25 to 35 participants gathered at social center for martial arts activities, and around 35 to 65 participants gathered at social center for film club, and their trend to gather at social center is approximately same as in 2005, and increase a very lit bit, as we can see the x-axis of ther graph their are number of participants from 0 to 70, and on y-axis their are number of years from 2000 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the task but fails to provide a clear overview or a logical summary of the main trends. The description of the data is fragmented and lacks a professional tone. Several figures are mentioned, but the analysis is confusing, particularly the reference to the x-axis and y-axis, which appears to misinterpret the graph's layout. The report lacks a clear structure, making it difficult to identify the 'main features' as required by the task. To improve, you should group the activities by their trends (e.g., those that increased versus those that decreased) and provide a concise summary of the overall patterns observed over the 20-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response is written as a single, long, run-on sentence, which severely impacts readability and coherence. There is a lack of paragraphing and an absence of cohesive devices to link ideas together. The progression of information is disjointed, as the writer jumps between different activities without a clear logical sequence. To achieve a higher band, you must use full stops to separate distinct ideas and employ linking words such as 'whereas', 'in contrast', or 'subsequently' to guide the reader through the data comparisons. The current lack of structure makes the information difficult to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic phrases like 'number of participants' and 'gathered at'. There are errors in word choice, such as 'tale tennis' (table tennis) and 'lit bit' (little bit). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends accurately; for instance, instead of saying 'trend increases', you should use more precise verbs like 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'declined'. The lack of variety and the presence of spelling errors hinder the clarity of the report. Expanding your vocabulary to include trend-related terminology is essential for improvement.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammar is weak, characterized by a lack of sentence boundaries and frequent errors in basic syntax. The entire response consists of one long, poorly structured sentence, which demonstrates a lack of control over complex structures. There are consistent errors with articles (e.g., 'in 2020 i around on 0'), subject-verb agreement, and preposition usage. Punctuation is almost entirely absent, which makes the text difficult to parse. To improve, focus on writing shorter, grammatically complete sentences and ensure that you use correct verb tenses when describing past data. The current level of accuracy is quite low.

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