Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The diagram tells information how many participants participates for different tasks in city of Australia, Melbourne between 2000 to 2020.
Overall, film club has highest number of people throughout the period while amateur dramatics showed a significant decline.
In 2000, film club showed highest number of members approximately 64 and increases up to 69 in 2020 after a short fall in 2010. while musical performances has no contributor till 2005. After this, it rises to 10 in 2010 and again rise throughout period from 2010 to 2020 (10 to 18 people). There is a fluctuation in martial arts which firstly decrease in 2005 then slightly increase in 2010.
In contrast, amateur dramatics showed 25 participants in 2000. which sharply fall to almost 10 in 2020. On the other hand, table tennis in 2000 illustrates18 number of participants which increases to 20 and remain stable till 2010. After this, it rapidly soar in 2015 to 2020 and reached from 35 to 55.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the overall trend and specific data points for the various activities. You successfully identified the most popular activity (film club) and the one with the most significant decline (amateur dramatics). However, the description of the data is occasionally imprecise, such as stating 'approximately 64' for the film club in 2000, which is not clearly supported by the visual data. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are reported with greater accuracy and that comparisons between categories are more explicitly drawn throughout the body paragraphs rather than just listing figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'On the other hand', and 'After this' helps to guide the reader through the information. However, some transitions are mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the sentence 'which sharply fall to almost 10 in 2020', which lacks a clear subject. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that pronouns or relative clauses clearly refer to the intended noun would enhance the overall coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'significant decline', 'fluctuation', and 'remain stable'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'tells information how many', 'no contributor', and 'rapidly soar'. The phrase 'illustrates 18 number of participants' is also unnatural. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations for describing trends, such as 'experienced a sharp decline' rather than 'sharply fall', and ensure that nouns and verbs are used in their correct forms to convey meaning more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'film club has highest', 'musical performances has'), missing articles (e.g., 'in city of Australia'), and incorrect tense usage (e.g., 'film club showed... and increases'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several sentence fragments, such as 'In 2000, film club showed highest number of members approximately 64 and increases up to 69 in 2020 after a short fall in 2010. while musical performances has no contributor till 2005.' Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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