Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph shows data of how many individuals participated for various activities at a social centre in melbourne, australia from year 2000 to 2020
To begin with, Film club always showed dominance on the others. While martial arts is forever between 30 to 40 percent and amateur dramatics get a downfall in year 2010 and continuously going down till year 2020
In addition to this, Table tennis was somewhere lying between 10 to 20 but after 2010 year it rise very quickly and in year 2020 it became the second most participated activity. Then, musical performances was firstly introduced in the year 2005 and increased little bit to 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While the report attempts to identify some trends, it lacks a clear overview of the main features and fails to provide a comprehensive summary of the data. Several activities are described with limited detail, and the lack of sufficient length prevents the development of a fully coherent report. To improve, you must ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed, including a clear introductory statement, a distinct overview of trends, and detailed supporting data for all categories shown in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear logical progression. While there are some attempts at paragraphing, the structure is disjointed and the transitions between ideas are mechanical or missing. The use of cohesive devices is limited, making the flow of information feel fragmented. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in contrast', 'consequently') to connect your sentences and paragraphs more fluidly. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, such as grouping similar trends together to create a more logical narrative for the reader.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite basic and repetitive, relying on simple verbs like 'showed', 'get', and 'rise'. There is little evidence of the precise, academic vocabulary required for describing data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant decline'. Furthermore, there are errors in capitalization (e.g., 'melbourne', 'australia') and word choice (e.g., 'dominance on the others' should be 'dominance over the others'). To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more varied and topic-specific vocabulary to describe changes in data accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'musical performances was'), tense consistency (e.g., 'it rise' instead of 'it rose'), and sentence structure. The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. To improve, you should practice using a mix of complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions (e.g., 'While the film club remained popular, table tennis saw a sharp increase'). Careful proofreading is also necessary to correct basic errors in verb tense and punctuation.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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