Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
This graph shows the information for social center activities in Melbourne, Australia about the numbers of candidate who participated in activities, in this graph the most famous one is film club, there is noticeable increase and decrease in trend, to discuss about table tennis have significant increase in 20's, the downfall of amateur dramatics is observed, they are both inverse to each other, stability for martial arts is showed as graph continues, musical performances are gradually as years passes on and at certain point musical performances will increase more,
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, reaching only 89 words. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. While you identify some trends, such as the 'downfall of amateur dramatics' and the 'stability for martial arts', the report lacks the necessary depth and detail required for an Academic Task 1 response. You have not provided specific data points or a clear overview of the main features, and the analysis is too brief to adequately cover the information presented in the graph. To improve, you must ensure you meet the word count and provide a more comprehensive summary of the data.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The response lacks paragraphing and logical structure. It is written as a single, run-on sentence with comma splices, which makes it difficult to follow. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas; instead, the text relies on repetitive phrasing. To improve, you should organise your response into clear paragraphs: an introduction, an overview of main trends, and two body paragraphs detailing specific data. Use linking words like 'whereas', 'in contrast', or 'subsequently' to connect your ideas more effectively and improve the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You use basic terms like 'famous' and 'increase', which are not ideal for describing statistical data. There are also inaccuracies in word choice, such as using 'candidate' instead of 'participants' and '20's' to refer to the year 2020. The phrasing 'musical performances are gradually as years passes on' is grammatically awkward and lacks the precise vocabulary needed for an IELTS report. You should focus on learning specific collocations for describing trends, such as 'a significant rise', 'a steady decline', or 'remained stable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response consists of a single, long, run-on sentence punctuated only by commas, which is a major grammatical error. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the basic grammar is frequently flawed (e.g., 'stability... is showed', 'as years passes on'). The lack of proper sentence boundaries and punctuation significantly impedes readability. To improve, you must focus on writing complete, grammatically correct sentences with proper subject-verb agreement and varied sentence structures. Practice using full stops to separate distinct ideas rather than relying on commas.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.