Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Graph is showing the activities performed by players at social centre Melbourne, Australia between the period 2000 to 2020.

Firstly, it is clear that firm club activity players participate consistently with a very slight decline from year 2005 to 2010 and after that number of players keep increasing from 2010 to 2020 reaching almost 68 participants.After that, if you see martial arts stats it is obvious that this sport has ups and downs every five years but most players participate in this in year 2010 reaching almost 39 participants. Furthermore, Amateur dramatics meet a little increase then after 2005 it suffers from great downfall by reaching to only 5 players from 25 players in year 2020. Moreover, Table tennis is showing a great upward trend mainly starting from year 2010 reaching to 55 players from only 15 players by year 2020. At last, Musical performances have seen big upward increase in participants from year 2005 to 2010 then growth becomes relatively low in next 10 years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have successfully identified the main trends for all categories, such as the upward trend in table tennis and the decline in amateur dramatics. However, the response lacks a clear overview or summary paragraph, which is essential for a Band 7 or higher. The introduction is also slightly informal and lacks a clear paraphrase of the prompt. While you have reported the data points, the comparison between categories could be more explicit. To improve, ensure you include a distinct 'overview' paragraph that highlights the most significant trends across the entire period, rather than just listing the data for each activity sequentially.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', and 'Moreover' to link your ideas. However, the progression of ideas feels a bit mechanical, and the transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt. For instance, the phrase 'After that, if you see martial arts stats' is quite informal and lacks the academic tone required for Task 1. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear focus would help improve the flow and coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'upward trend', 'decline', and 'downfall'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'firm club activity' is unclear, and 'great downfall' is not the most natural way to describe a statistical decrease. Additionally, the phrasing 'meet a little increase' is grammatically incorrect. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoid informal phrasing like 'if you see' or 'at last'. Expanding your range of verbs and adverbs to describe the degree of change would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

Your writing uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. For example, 'Graph is showing' should be 'The graph shows', and 'number of players keep increasing' should be 'the number of players kept increasing' to maintain consistent past tense. There are also issues with article usage and prepositions, such as 'in year 2010' instead of 'in 2010'. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage when describing historical data. Proofreading for minor errors in articles and verb forms will help you achieve a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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