Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates information on the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne,Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Overall,there are 5 activities that can be seen on the representation.But,we can also see that each of the activities had a rise and fall throughout the period 2000 to 2020.
Firstly,Musical performances.From 2000 to 2005 it had a complete failure but by reaching of 2005 it had a rise which increased during the whole period.While on the other hand,Table tennis started with an incline and by the end of the period it showed significantly growth.Moreover,Amateur dramatics showed a relatively good start but by the end of 2005 it severely collapsed.
Secondly,Martial arts.This activity had a good start as compared to those of other but by the end of 2005 it showed a decline and then a rise by the start of 2010.In short it had a bearish as well as bullish trend during the period.Lastly i would take a look onto Film club which had a relatively massive start unlike others.It declined during the year of 2010.Then again showed a rise in its trend during the rest of the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all five activities mentioned in the graph, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify trends, the description lacks precision regarding specific data points or comparative values. For example, stating that musical performances had a 'complete failure' is not an accurate interpretation of a graph showing participant numbers. You have identified the main features, but the lack of specific figures or clear comparative language limits the depth of the report. To improve, ensure you include specific data points to support your observations and avoid subjective language like 'failure' or 'collapsed' when describing statistical trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by mechanical transitions. Phrases like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Lastly' are used, but the internal structure of the paragraphs is disjointed. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the use of cohesive devices is repetitive. For instance, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus rather than just listing activities one by one.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main ideas, but there are instances of inappropriate word choice and collocation errors. Phrases like 'complete failure', 'severely collapsed', and 'bearish as well as bullish trend' are not suitable for an academic report on data. These terms are either too dramatic or belong to financial contexts rather than describing social centre participation. Improving your control over academic collocations, such as 'showed a steady increase' or 'experienced a sharp decline', will significantly enhance your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in punctuation and grammar. For example, there are missing spaces after commas ('Overall,there', 'Melbourne,Australia'), and some sentences are fragmented or awkwardly phrased, such as 'by reaching of 2005'. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors occur frequently enough to distract the reader. To reach a higher band, focus on proofreading for basic punctuation and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed with grammatical accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.