Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The graph represent the information about the number of the participants performing the different activities at a social centre in melbourine, Ausralia for aperiod to 2000 to 2020.
Overall'the lowest perticipant are those who take part in musical performance from 2005 to 2020. And the participants are those who take part in the film club from 2000 to 2020 are highest among all 65 participents take part in the film club.
The graph represent the various information about the different participent taking part in different activities. About 10 to 20 participents take part in the musical performance 2005 to 2020. almost 15 to 55 particippents take part in the table tenis from 2000 to 2020. almost 25 participents take part in the ametuer dramatics. from 2000 to 2020.
The 35 participents take role in the matial arts from year 2000 to 2020.
And the participants are those who take part in the film club from 2000 to 2020 are highest among all 65 participents take part in the film club.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to summarize the graph but fails to provide a clear overview or highlight the most significant trends effectively. While it mentions some figures, the data is presented in a disjointed manner, and there are inaccuracies in reporting the information (e.g., stating the film club was the highest throughout the period without clear comparative analysis). The response lacks a logical structure to present the main features, and the information is often repetitive or confusing. To improve, you should focus on identifying the overall trends—such as which activities grew or declined—and grouping the data logically rather than listing individual figures for each activity.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay lacks a clear logical progression. Paragraphs are not used effectively to separate ideas, and the sentences are often disconnected. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link information, making the text feel like a list of isolated observations rather than a cohesive report. The use of 'And' to start sentences is repetitive and informal. To improve, you should use transition words like 'In contrast,' 'Furthermore,' or 'Meanwhile' to connect your ideas and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, such as grouping activities by their growth patterns.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. You frequently use the same words, such as 'participants' and 'take part in,' which restricts the range of your writing. There are also numerous spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'melbourine,' 'Ausralia,' 'perticipant,' 'tenis,' 'ametuer,' and 'matial.' These errors are frequent and occasionally make the text difficult to follow. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider variety of synonyms and ensure accurate spelling of key terms related to the task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical range is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with frequent errors. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The graph represent'), incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing that obscures meaning. Punctuation is also problematic, with misplaced apostrophes and periods used incorrectly within sentences. The lack of complex sentence structures prevents the demonstration of higher-level grammatical control. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement and spelling would significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
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