Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph provides the details on the participants number for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia for the time period between 2000 to 2020. The total of 5 different activities performed by the a lot of participants.
For the Australians, the film club seemed to be the highly demanded activities among the candidates throughout the year while the hunger for musical performances were surged only after 2005.
The martial arts were slightly changing in preferences but it were on the same level despite the ups and downs. The table tennis were somehow sharply rose from the year 2010 and reached its maximum number at 55 in 2020 which almost caught the demand for film club. However, the amateur dramatics were seen to be after the uear 2005 and reached its minimum number at around 5 players.
In conclusion, two of the activities, i.e. amateur dramatics and table tennis is sharply changed its position in opposite directions. Musical Performances were in demand among the performers only after 2005.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides an overview of the data, but it fails to adequately report the main features. While it mentions some trends, the descriptions are often vague or inaccurate. For instance, stating that martial arts were 'slightly changing' is imprecise, and the report lacks a clear comparison of the data points. Several key figures are missing, and the analysis of the trends is underdeveloped. To improve, you should focus on selecting the most significant data points (the highest and lowest values) and describing the trends with more precision, ensuring that all activities are clearly compared throughout the period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and occasionally mechanical or misused, such as the transition 'For the Australians' which does not logically connect to the previous sentence. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the conclusion does not effectively summarise the main trends, instead focusing on specific details that should have been in the body paragraphs. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices, such as 'hunger for musical performances were surged' and 'highly demanded activities among the candidates'. The term 'candidates' is inappropriate for people participating in social activities. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of precise vocabulary for describing trends (e.g., 'sharply rose' instead of 'rose sharply') limits the score. You should aim to use more academic collocations and precise verbs to describe statistical changes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Subject-verb agreement is a recurring issue, such as 'the table tennis were somehow sharply rose' and 'two of the activities... is sharply changed'. There are also issues with article usage ('the a lot of participants') and tense consistency. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex structures often result in errors. To reach a higher band, you need to focus on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive voice for describing data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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