Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the data on the total number of candidates who participated in various activities that were being held at a social centre of Australia located in the city, Melbourne between the period of 2000 to 2020.
Overall, the line graph shows the numbers of the participants who took part in different activities between the year (2000, 2005, 2010, 2015, 2020) as well as the diverse range of activities.
Firstly, the activity that stays on top of the graph was film club. Being started in the year 2000 with almost 63 candidates and stayed in competition for two decades whereas table tennis started with the lowest participants like 17 to 18 members and continued to grow the numbers of the participants especially from the year 2015 to 2020.
Secondly, amateur dramatics which started with 38 members in 2000 and instead of getting more candidates they dropped out quickly after 2010. Musical performances started from 2005 and increased the numbers of participants gradually throughout the years. However the candidates were stagnant in the activity of martial arts with the number of 38 throughout the period of 2000 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have identified the main trends for the activities, such as the film club's dominance and the growth of table tennis. However, the response lacks a clear overview of the data as a whole, which is a requirement for a high band score. You have also missed some key data points; for instance, you mention the film club started at 63, but the graph shows it starting at 65, and you describe martial arts as 'stagnant' at 38, whereas the graph shows it fluctuating between 35 and 40. To improve, ensure you provide a concise summary of the most significant trends in the introduction or overview paragraph and verify your data points against the graph more precisely.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive, such as starting paragraphs with 'Firstly' and 'Secondly'. The transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt, making the flow feel disjointed. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more naturally, such as 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', or 'Meanwhile'. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, as the current grouping of information feels a bit cluttered.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, such as 'participated', 'stagnant', and 'gradually'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'candidates' (which usually refers to people applying for a job or election, rather than participants in a social club) and 'stayed in competition' (which is not the best way to describe a trend). To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology for describing graphs, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained constant'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that occasionally hinder clarity. For example, 'the activity that stays on top of the graph' should be 'the activity that remained the most popular'. There are also issues with tense consistency, such as mixing present and past tenses when describing historical data. Additionally, some phrasing is awkward, such as 'continued to grow the numbers of the participants'. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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