Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of people participating in various activities offered at a social centre in Melbourne from 2000 to 2020.
Overall, the film club marked the highest number of participants. An increase was observed in the number of people taking part in musical performances and table tennis. While amateur dramatic had lost it's relevance among the partakers, the sports of martial arts faced fluctuations throughout the years.
Film club had the most members, nearly 65, in the year 2000 which despite having a slight fall in 2010, gained its participants back in the next 10 years. Noticeably, table tennis was played by only 15 people in 2000, but its number of partakers had a dramatic increase to half a hundred people in 2020. Another activity that gained popularity among the attendees was the musical performances, they had started at zero in the graph and rose up to nearly 20 in the end.
The amateur dramatic before having a significant fall from 2005 to 2020, maintained its number of participants to approximately 30 in the year 2000. The sport of martial arts witnessed fluctuations throughout the timeline.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the overall trends and specific data points for the various activities. You have successfully identified the main trends, such as the growth in table tennis and the decline in amateur dramatics. However, the description of the amateur dramatics trend is slightly confusing; you mention it had a 'significant fall' but also that it 'maintained its number of participants to approximately 30 in the year 2000', which is a bit contradictory in its phrasing. To reach a higher band, ensure that comparisons between categories are more explicit and that the chronological progression of data is described with greater clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices such as 'While', 'Noticeably', and 'Another activity' helps guide the reader through the information. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing in the second body paragraph is a bit disjointed. For example, the sentence 'The amateur dramatic before having a significant fall...' is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow of the paragraph. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence connects smoothly to the next would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'popularity', and 'attendees'. However, there are some instances of unnatural word choice or phrasing, such as 'partakers' (which is rarely used in this context; 'participants' is better) and 'half a hundred' (which is an unusual way to express 50). Additionally, 'amateur dramatic' should be 'amateur dramatics'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoid overly creative phrasing that may sound unnatural to a native speaker.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For instance, 'it's relevance' should be 'its relevance' (possessive), and 'the amateur dramatic before having a significant fall' is a fragmented or poorly structured clause. There are also minor issues with article usage and verb tense consistency. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and possessive forms will be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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