Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph illustrates that the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne,Australia for period 2000 to 2020.
Overall,the film club activity participants in 2000 decreasing.In, table tennis activity the number of participants in 2000 increasing.However, the last activity musical performances in 2005 increasing.
First of all,the film club in the number of participants in 2000, 65.And the martial arts 37 in 2000.The between amateur dramatics 25 in 2000.So,the table tennis 15 in 2000.And the last activity musical performance 0 in 2005.
Second of all,the film club activity 67 in 2020.And the martial arts 38 in 2020.The amateur dramatics 5 in 2020.So,the table tennis 52 in 2020.And the last activity musical performance 15 in 2020.
To sum up,the first activity decreasing in 2000 and increasing in 2020.The second activity deacreasing in 2000 and increasing in 2020.So,the between activity increasing in 2000 and deacreasing in 2020.And the last activity increasing in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to address the task by reporting data from the graph, but it fails to provide a clear overview or effectively highlight the main features. The information is presented as a list of disconnected figures rather than a summary of trends. Several statements are factually confusing or contradictory, such as claiming the film club was 'decreasing' in 2000 when the data shows a different pattern. The summary paragraph is particularly problematic as it misinterprets the trends, making it difficult for the reader to grasp the overall movement of the data. To improve, you must identify the most significant trends (e.g., which activity grew the most) rather than listing every individual data point.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and often misused, such as 'First of all' and 'Second of all,' which are inappropriate for a data summary. Many sentences are fragmented or lack proper connectors, making the text feel like a series of isolated statements rather than a cohesive report. The referencing is unclear, and the lack of logical flow between the introduction, body, and conclusion makes the response difficult to follow. Improving the use of linking words like 'whereas,' 'in contrast,' or 'subsequently' would help create a better flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on basic structures like 'the number of participants in [year] [number].' There is no attempt to use a range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' or 'experienced a significant rise.' Furthermore, there are errors in word choice and spelling (e.g., 'deacreasing'). To reach a higher band, you need to use more precise language to describe data, such as 'a steady increase,' 'a sharp decline,' or 'reached a peak,' rather than simply stating the numbers.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede clarity. There are many missing verbs (e.g., 'the film club activity participants in 2000 decreasing'), incorrect prepositions, and issues with sentence structure. Most sentences are simple and lack the complexity required for higher bands. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas. To improve, focus on constructing complete sentences with a subject and a verb, and practice using complex structures like relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions to combine ideas. The current reliance on fragmented, error-prone sentences significantly limits the score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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