Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The provided line graph illustrates the data of various activities that are enrolled by numerous individuals at a social location that is held in Melbourne, Australia, for two decades ending in 2020.

As an overview, it is clear that the proportion of individuals remained highest and was nearly the same in the Film club, with a slight dip in 2010.

At a cursory glance, the musical performances attracted participants starting in 2005, with the number gradually increasing to 15 members by the end of the reporting period. Moreover, the number of athletes in table tennis and amateur dramas is aligned equally in the year 2010. However, the former category drew significant attention over the next decade, ultimately leading to three times the enrollment.

Meanwhile, interest in dramas continues to fade among the youth. Additionally, the martial arts show roller-coaster progress in enrollment, ending with the same number as at the start of the trend.

To recapitulate, about 60 percent of the categories show an inclining nature, whilst the dramatics lose interest over two decades among the Australian commodities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, but it lacks precision in reporting data. While you identify trends, you often fail to provide specific figures to support your claims, such as the starting or ending values for the Film club or the exact numbers for the drama category. The overview is somewhat vague, and the description of the martial arts trend as a 'roller-coaster' is informal and imprecise. To improve, ensure you include specific data points from the graph to substantiate your comparisons and avoid subjective descriptions. The summary at the end is a bit repetitive and does not add new analytical value.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, and the progression of ideas is generally clear. You use cohesive devices such as 'Meanwhile', 'Moreover', and 'To recapitulate' to link your points. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'Australian commodities' at the end, which is an inappropriate term for people. The paragraphing is sufficient, but the internal flow within paragraphs could be smoother by better connecting the data points rather than listing them in isolation.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, but there are instances of awkward word choice and collocation. For example, 'enrolled by numerous individuals' is unnatural, as participants enroll in activities, not the other way around. The term 'Australian commodities' is a significant misuse of vocabulary, as it refers to goods, not people. While you attempt to use less common words like 'inclining' and 'recapitulate', the overall control is inconsistent. Focusing on more precise collocations and avoiding overly complex words that do not fit the context will improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. However, there are several grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. For instance, 'the proportion of individuals remained highest... in the Film club' is slightly confusing, and 'the martial arts show roller-coaster progress' lacks proper subject-verb agreement or a more formal structure. Punctuation is generally correct, but some phrasing is clunky. To reach a higher band, focus on ensuring that your complex sentences are error-free and that your subject-verb agreement is consistent throughout the text.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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