Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

the bar graph illustrate the information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Overall it can be seen that film club is most popular of the year while table tennis is least of the year. however martial arts participants are middle of the grow.

to commence with, 25 around people partricipants in amateur dramatics in 2000 than rapidly decrease in the next year. moreover, 15 around participants table tennis in 2000 while next year rapidly growth until 2020

on the other hand, 65 individuals participants in year of 2000 than peoples are more enjoy in fim club and constant their increase of thew growth. other side musical performances growth started in 2005 although until 2020 increase rapidly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have attempted to identify some trends, the analysis is superficial and lacks the necessary detail to fully address the task. You have not provided sufficient data points or clear comparisons between the activities. For example, stating '25 around people' is imprecise and lacks the formal tone required for an Academic Task 1 report. To improve, ensure you include specific data points from the graph and provide a more comprehensive overview of the trends over the entire 20-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often inaccurate, such as 'on the other hand' and 'other side', which do not effectively link the ideas. The sentences are often disjointed, making the overall flow difficult to follow. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus. The lack of clear transitions between the introduction, overview, and body paragraphs hinders the overall coherence of the report.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'growth' and 'increase' without demonstrating a range of synonyms or more precise academic vocabulary. There are also frequent errors in word choice and form, such as 'partricipants' (spelling), 'peoples are more enjoy' (incorrect grammar/collocation), and 'constant their increase of thew growth'. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise terminology to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp rise', and ensure correct word forms are used throughout.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The grammatical control is weak, with frequent errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'the bar graph illustrate' instead of 'illustrates', and incorrect sentence structures like '15 around participants table tennis in 2000 while next year rapidly growth'. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses for reporting past data and ensuring proper word order. Proofreading for basic errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms is essential.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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