Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The linear representation illustrates the data related to the participation of individuals for various activities at social centre in Melbourne , Australia between 2000 to 2020.

Overall, involvement in film club was highest. Moreover, number kept on fluctuate in the maritial art during period of 20 years. table tennis participation rose significantly after 2010 and enrollment in amateur dramatics kept on decreasing from 2005. Furthermore, music performances were introduced in 2005 and it rose significantly.

In 2000, 65 people participated film. Moreover, it had a steady drop of 5 till 2010. after 2010 number rose slowly and reached at same level from where it started.

In 2005, music performances were introduced and number kept on increasing in following year. Moreover, till 2020 participation reached 15.

In 2000, 15 people participated in table tennis and number remain levelled off till 2005. it had a drop of 6 till 2010. However, number rose dramatically till 2020 and reached approximately 55.

In 2000, 25 individuals were enrolled in amateur arts and number remain same till 2005.However, it had a sharp drop of 20 and number reached 5 till 2020.

in 2000, 35 people were involved in maritial art and number reached 30 in 2005. However, it had a steady rise 5 in 2010 and crashed again in 2015 and reached 35 till 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided relevant data points for all categories. The overview is clear and highlights the key movements, such as the significant rise in table tennis and the introduction of music performances. However, the response could be improved by making more direct comparisons between the activities rather than listing them in separate paragraphs. For instance, noting that table tennis overtook amateur dramatics by the end of the period would strengthen the analytical quality of the report. The data is generally accurate, though some minor inconsistencies in reporting specific figures exist.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with each focusing on a specific activity or group of activities. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'However', and 'Furthermore' to link ideas. However, some of these transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, and the referencing is occasionally unclear (e.g., 'number kept on fluctuate'). The progression of information is generally smooth, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be more cohesive by varying the sentence starters and avoiding the repetitive use of 'In 2000' or 'In 2005' to begin every section.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuate', 'significantly', and 'dramatically'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'number kept on fluctuate' (should be 'fluctuated') and 'maritial art' (spelling error). The repetition of 'number' and 'participated' limits the sophistication of your writing. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and ensure that your spelling of technical terms is accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'participated film' instead of 'participated in the film club'), incorrect verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'number remain levelled off'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on consistent tense usage—specifically the past simple for historical data—and ensuring articles are used correctly would significantly improve the clarity of your writing.

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