Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph illustrates that the number of participants for different games at one social centre in Melbourne,Australia for the lecture 2000 to 2020.
Overall,the film club and the martial arts decreased.And the other side amateur dramatics and table tennis increased.So,the last musical performances increased.
First of all,the film club 65 in 2000 and 66 in 2020.So,the first figure increased.And the second martial arts 38 in 2000 and same in 2020.The subsequently figure same in 20 year.The between amateur dramatics 26 in 2000 and 5 in 2020.So,this figure decreased.
Second of all,the table tennis 15 in 2000 and 51 in 2020.So,this figure increased.And the last musical performances 0 in 2005 and 15 in 2020.So,the last figure increased in fifteen years.
In conclusion,the first two figure decreased.And the between figure increased.So,the last one figure increased.And the last figure increased.So,the participants for different activities increased in Australia.In 2000,many number of participants for different games.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to summarise the graph but fails to accurately report the data. There are significant factual errors; for instance, the text claims the film club increased, whereas the graph shows it remained stable, and it states martial arts remained the same, while the graph shows a clear decline. Furthermore, the summary of trends in the conclusion is contradictory and confusing. The overview is poorly developed and does not highlight the most significant features or trends effectively. To improve, you must ensure that the data points cited match the visual information provided and that your overview captures the primary trends rather than listing individual figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is repetitive and mechanical, such as the frequent use of 'So' and 'And' to start or link sentences. The referencing is often unclear, particularly in the conclusion where phrases like 'the between figure' and 'the last one figure' are used, making it difficult for the reader to follow which activity is being discussed. The lack of variety in linking words and the disjointed nature of the sentences hinder the overall flow of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. The student relies heavily on basic words like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'figure'. There is a lack of variety in reporting verbs or descriptors for trends. Additionally, there are errors in word choice, such as using 'lecture' instead of 'period' and 'subsequently' as an adjective. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'a significant rise', or 'a sharp decline', and ensure words are used in their correct grammatical form.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response consists almost entirely of simple sentences with frequent grammatical errors. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, missing articles, and incorrect sentence structure (e.g., 'The subsequently figure same in 20 year'). Punctuation is also problematic, with many missing spaces after commas. There is no evidence of complex sentence structures, which are necessary for higher band scores. The errors are frequent and occasionally impede the clarity of the information being presented. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be a good starting point for improvement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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