Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The following graph indicates information on the numbers of participants for distinct activities at one social media center in Melbourne Australia over a period of 20 years from [redacted phone].
Overall, it is clear from the figure that number of participants for film club was higher than the other all activities, while in musical performances participants saw a little interest.
By 2000, number of attendees for film club stood at almost 60, while for martial arts activity stood at approximately 38 numbers of participants. In addition, the figures for film club decreased gradually until 2010 and then it went up to approximately 68 number of candidates in 2020. In comparison to martial arts it showed small fluctuations and the ending point of this activity was approximately 31 members who participated in this activity in 2020.
If we talk about amateur dramatics and table tennis the figures for amateur dramatics went down slowly, while for table tennis climbed abruptly. In 2000, the amateur dramatics accounted by almost 28 number of members and for table tennis it showed almost 18 people who were interested in this activity. Amateur dramatics accounted by around 55 participants in 2020, in comparison to table tennis it saw 5 number of participants. By 2000, musical performances was not started yet it began to start from 2005 and saw 13 participants at the end of the year in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for each activity. You have successfully identified the main trends, such as the film club being the most popular and the late introduction of musical performances. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting; for instance, you state that amateur dramatics went down, whereas the graph shows an increase from 2000 to 2020. Additionally, the description of table tennis is confusing, as you mention it climbed abruptly but then cite a figure of 5 in 2020, which contradicts the visual trend. To improve, ensure that your data points are accurately transcribed from the graph to support your summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'In comparison to', and 'while', which help the flow of information. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, the transition 'If we talk about' is too informal for an academic report. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal cohesion within the final paragraph is slightly disjointed due to the way the data for the two activities is presented.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'accounted for', and 'participants'. However, there are several instances of unnatural word choice and collocation errors, such as 'number of candidates' (when referring to club members) and 'musical performances was not started yet'. The phrase 'saw a little interest' is also imprecise. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score. Focusing on more academic collocations would enhance your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('musical performances was not started'), missing articles ('the number of'), and awkward sentence construction ('accounted by almost 28 number of members'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent and occur in both simple and complex sentences. To improve, pay closer attention to verb tenses and the correct use of prepositions when describing statistical data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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