Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The given figure appear the information of participants in different activities during 2000 to 2020 in Australian city Melbourne.
Overall, graph show different lines for appering the number of participants in different activities. Lines also show numbers of participants when increase and when decrease in different years.
Six unique line show different value in graph. Table tennis line and musial performances line both are increased in year 2010. But starting point of table tennis line is the middle of 10 to 20 in 2000. On the other hand starting point of musical performances is 0 in year 2005 and his value increcing in year 2010.
On the other hand the amateur dramatics line start in year 2000 at the middle of 20 to 30 but his number of participants is decrease. And other two lines film club and martial arts start in year 2000 but different points. But these lines value is equal in the deuration 2000 to 2020. These lines value is same start to end.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph by mentioning various activities such as table tennis, musical performances, amateur dramatics, film club, and martial arts. However, the task achievement is significantly limited by vague descriptions and inaccurate reporting of trends and data points. For instance, stating that the starting point of table tennis is in the 'middle of 10 to 20' lacks precision, and phrases like 'these lines value is equal in the deuration' fail to clearly communicate the actual data presented in the visual prompt. Key comparisons between the activities are largely absent, and some observations regarding the trends are unclear or misleading. Consequently, the response falls into the Band 5 category as it addresses the task only partially and lacks fully developed, accurate information.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The text is divided into four paragraphs, which shows an attempt to structure the response. However, there is a lack of overall progression and logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used repetitively or inaccurately, such as the frequent, disjointed repetition of 'On the other hand' and 'And other two lines'. Referencing is frequently unclear, leaving the reader confused about which data points or lines are being discussed. Paragraphing is also somewhat arbitrary rather than serving a clear logical function. These issues align with the Band 4 to 5 descriptors, reflecting basic organization with noticeable deficiencies in cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary used throughout the response is basic, repetitive, and restricted. Words like 'figure', 'information', 'activities', and 'lines' are overused without sufficient variety. There are numerous word choice and collocation errors, such as 'appear the information' instead of 'show information', 'musial performances' instead of 'musical performances', 'increcing' instead of 'increasing', and 'deuration' instead of 'duration'. Furthermore, terms like 'value' are used where 'number' or 'participation' would be more appropriate. Because the lexical range is narrow and frequent errors occur, the vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate, fitting a Band 4.5 to 5.0 profile.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences with repetitive subjects and verbs. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'The given figure appear', 'Six unique line show', 'graph show'), missing articles, and incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'his value increcing', 'is decrease'). Complex structures are rarely attempted, and when they are, they are often faulty. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the grammar score from reaching higher bands, placing this submission firmly at Band 4.5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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