Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph below provides information on the numbers of individuals for different activities at one community centre in Melbourne,Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
In this timeline graph film club highest number of participants by activity in the year of 2002. Amateur dramatics is lowest number of participants by activities in the year of 2020.
The line graph shows the number of participants in Melbourne,Australia. The year 2000 to 2004 film club has highest number of participants more than 60. In the years of 2005 to 2010 film club also has highest number of participaints around more than 60 and musical performances is lowest around 10. In the years of 2010 to 2015 film club is highest number of participaints is 60 and amateur dramatics is lowest around less than 20.The years 2015 to 2020 film club also holds highest number of participaints around less than 70 and amateur dramatics also has lowest around less than 10.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph, such as identifying the film club as having the highest participation and amateur dramatics or musical performances as having lower numbers. However, the data presentation is heavily fragmented and contains numerous inaccuracies and vague descriptions (e.g., repeating 'around less than 70' or 'more than 60' rather than citing precise trends). Furthermore, the structure lacks a proper overview paragraph, which is essential for a Band 6 or higher. The student focuses excessively on isolated data points rather than synthesising the overarching trends across the 20-year period. Consequently, the response falls short of fully satisfying the requirements for Task Achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The text suffers from poor organisation and a lack of proper paragraphing. Instead of distinct logical paragraphs, the writing consists of disjointed sentences thrown together without a clear introduction, overview, or body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are largely absent, resulting in a repetitive and mechanical flow where ideas are listed rather than logically connected. For instance, the constant repetition of 'In the years of...' creates a very choppy reading experience. Referencing is also unclear at times, making it difficult to follow the progression of information across the timeline.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple terms like 'highest number of participants', 'lowest', and 'number of participaints' (with a spelling error). There is virtually no attempt to use less common vocabulary or paraphrasing. Furthermore, spelling and word-formation errors, such as 'participaints' and awkward phrase construction like 'timeline graph', restrict the lexical score. The range is minimally adequate to convey basic concepts related to the chart, but lacks the flexibility needed for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures. Most sentences are simple or poorly constructed attempts at complex sentences, often missing essential verbs or prepositions (e.g., 'film club highest number of participants'). Grammatical errors are frequent throughout the text, including missing articles and incorrect tense or time expressions (e.g., 'in the year of 2002' when describing a general trend, or 'the year 2000 to 2004'). While the meaning can sometimes be deciphered, the high frequency of structural errors noticeably impedes smooth reading.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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