Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The line graph illustrates the information on the sum of participants for diverse activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020 .

Overall, it is clear that film club highest over the period shown. Musical performance is the lowest in first half while go up in the 2nd half.

Flim club start from nearly the three quater 65% and 5 times lower in 2005 to 2010 while slightly go up and remain the same level. However martial arts flutuate by the end of the period.

Amateur start approximately 28% and then plummet 2005 to 2010. Table tennis slightly change in the first decad meanwhile rose steadily over the year.

In contrast flim club reach the peak while musical performance begin with lowest point.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The student has attempted to summarise the main features of the line graph, noting that the film club was the most popular activity and mentioning general trends for other activities such as table tennis and musical performances. However, the response fails to meet the word count requirement of 150 words, stopping at only 129 words, which results in a penalty under Task Achievement. Furthermore, the description of data points is confused and inaccurate in places (e.g., describing percentages instead of absolute numbers of participants, such as 'nearly the three quater 65%'). Important comparisons between activities are missing, and the overview is extremely brief and underdeveloped. To improve, the student must ensure the word count exceeds the minimum, use correct units of measurement from the chart, and provide a clearer, more comprehensive overview of the main trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response is divided into very short, single-sentence paragraphs that lack internal cohesion and logical progression. While basic cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'However', and 'In contrast' are attempted, their misuse often disrupts the logical flow rather than aiding it. For instance, the transition 'In contrast flim club reach the peak...' connects unrelated ideas awkwardly. There is no clear sense of paragraph grouping by trends or time periods, and referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of information. To enhance coherence, the student should group related data together, write well-developed paragraphs, and use cohesive devices more accurately to link contrasting or supporting points.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic, highly repetitive, and frequently inaccurate. The student misinterprets the data type, referring to participant numbers as percentages ('65%', '28%'). There are also numerous spelling and word choice errors, such as 'flutuate' for fluctuate, 'decad' for decade, and 'flim' for film. Collocations are unnatural, and attempts to use less common vocabulary result in confusing expressions. To achieve a higher band score, the student needs to learn appropriate vocabulary for describing statistical data (e.g., verbs like 'fluctuate', 'surge', 'decline', and nouns like 'proportion', 'number', 'participants') and eliminate basic spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, relying on simple sentence structures that frequently contain severe errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and basic sentence construction. Examples include 'film club highest over the period shown', which lacks a main verb, and 'Musical performance is the lowest in first half while go up in the 2nd half', which contains tense inconsistencies and missing articles. Punctuation is also problematic, with missing periods and commas. There are very few error-free sentences, and the frequent grammatical mistakes often impede the reader's understanding. To improve, the student should practice forming complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and review basic verb tenses for describing past and ongoing trends.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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