Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph illustrates information about the numbers of participants for five activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia between 2000 and 2020.
Overall, it is clear that Table tennis accounted for the highest proportion for numbers of participants, folllowed by film club also grew up activity. While, Amateur dramatics recorded had the lowest figures.
In 2000, Film club number of participants at around 65 is roughly decline in 2010 at 60 then gradually increased 66 in 2020. Moreover, table tennis started at 15 members in 2000 is dramtically increased in 2010, followed by sharply incresed at approximately 55 members in 2020. Furthermore, material arts in 2000 at 35 participants is roughly dereased then fluctuated incresed in 2020 at around 45 members.
In contrast, amateue dramatics has 25 members in 2000 is increased one years 30 then sharply dec
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, stopping abruptly at 139 words and cutting off in the final sentence. While the student attempts to provide an overview and summarize the main trends, the data reporting contains significant inaccuracies and misreadings. For instance, the text claims that table tennis accounted for the highest proportion, which directly contradicts the graph where Film club clearly remained the highest overall. Furthermore, data points are frequently misread, such as stating martial arts reached around 45 members in 2020 when the actual figure was 36. Due to under-length penalties, incomplete development, and factual errors in data reporting, the score is capped at a lower band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The response attempts a basic structure with an introduction and body paragraphs, but the overall organization breaks down significantly. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as the inappropriate transitional phrase 'While, Amateur dramatics recorded had the lowest figures' and repetitive sentence openings. Paragraphing is disjointed, and the response cuts off mid-sentence at the end, disrupting the logical flow and progression. Referencing and linking between ideas are frequently faulty, making it difficult to follow the relationships between the different data series.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with frequent word-choice and spelling errors that impede communication. Examples include 'folllowed', 'dramtically', 'incresed', 'material arts' (instead of martial arts), and 'amateue dramatics'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary related to trends, such as 'gradually increased', but these attempts are marred by inaccurate morphology and collocation. The range is limited and minimally adequate for describing data, but persistent lexical errors prevent the achievement of a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple or awkwardly constructed sentences that are frequently ungrammatical. There are persistent errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and clause structures, such as 'Film club number of participants at around 65 is roughly decline in 2010' and 'table tennis started at 15 members in 2000 is dramtically increased'. Punctuation is also problematic, and the unfinished final sentence demonstrates a lack of control over complex sentence forms. Errors are frequent and often cause strain for the reader.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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