Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The graph shows the numbers of participants for various ativities at on online platfrms center in Melbourne, during the period 2000 and 2020 in Australia. the graphs illustrated categories of number of competition by physical activity between 2000 and 2020 such as, film club, matial club, table tennis.
Overall, the amount of competitions approximately increased hihger and 2015, 2020 and were around decreased level in 2000 and 2005.
In 2000 year, the table tennis, a lot of people partcipated this activity was downd in Melbourne and after it was going to up level minimum 50% among into 2020 at Australia country.
The Musical performances unfortunately vanished in 2000, but it declined in 2005, no one interested too much on participants activity as well as, it was slightly done physical activity in 2020 around 19%.
The maximum increased higest point of fiilm club was 65 in addition it reached at similar point at 65%.
In conclusion, this charts compared the years, where the people maximum exthusiam and average had not interested in the Melbourne between 2000 and 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to address the prompt by describing trends for several categories in the graph, such as the film club and table tennis. However, the student struggles to convey clear and accurate information, frequently misinterpreting the data and writing in a confusing, disjointed manner. For instance, the claim that musical performances 'vanished in 2000' is factually incorrect as the graph shows it starting at zero, and the description of table tennis going 'to up level minimum 50%' is vague and inaccurate. The overview attempts to capture general trends, but it is poorly expressed and grammatically flawed. Overall, the task is only partially addressed due to significant inaccuracies in data reporting and underdeveloped ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay lacks clear logical organisation and progression. While it attempts an introductory sentence and an overall summary, the paragraphs are extremely fragmented, incoherent, and difficult to follow. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as the abrupt transitions between sentences ('In 2000 year, the table tennis...', 'The Musical performances unfortunately vanished...'). Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal structure of each paragraph fails to guide the reader smoothly through the data. Referencing and logical sequencing break down repeatedly, leaving the reader struggling to connect the ideas presented.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and often unnatural or incorrect. The student makes numerous lexical errors and spelling mistakes throughout the text, such as 'ativities' for activities, 'platfrms' for platforms, 'matial' for martial, and 'exthusiam' for enthusiasm. Less common vocabulary is attempted with very poor control and incorrect collocations, such as 'around decreased level' or 'maximum increased higest point'. These errors frequently strain the reader's understanding and severely limit the precision of the descriptions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple and heavily flawed sentence structures. Almost every sentence contains serious grammatical errors, incorrect verb tenses, awkward word order, and missing prepositions (e.g., 'no one interested too much on participants activity', 'this charts compared the years, where the people maximum exthusiam'). Complex structures are rarely attempted, and when they are, they are rendered ungrammatical and confusing. Punctuation is also weak. Errors are so frequent that they constantly impede communication.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.