Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
According to the graph there are different activities where Australian enrolled in different activies.
The film club catch the highest paticipant throughout the whole period as compared to other activities. On the other hand musical performance and Amateure dramatics activites are at the bottom in getting the participant, mainly musical performance activity fail to attract the participant in the bigning. In Martial arts people invovle at the same rate troughout the period. However people intrest toward Table tennis activity gradually increase from 2000 to 2020.
Most of the Autralian people mostly like to participate in the film club.Morover, their trend for Table tennis activity change after 2010 before it fow number of participant participate in this activity. on contrary to it , Austrlian avoids to participate in Musical performance and Amature activities. It is common thing that once goes to that activity that motivates him.therefore mostly australians are motivated from Film club and Table tennis activity
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to cover the main features of the chart, noting that the film club was the most popular activity and that amateur dramatics and musical performances were at the bottom. However, the response contains several inaccuracies and vague observations. For instance, stating that martial arts participants 'involve at the same rate troughout the period' is an oversimplification, and the description of table tennis fails to clearly highlight its dramatic upward trend from 2000 to 2020. Furthermore, the final paragraph wanders into personal speculation ('It is common thing that once goes to that activity that motivates him') rather than strictly summarising and comparing the data. This corresponds to Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response lacks clear paragraphing, presenting ideas in a series of short, disjointed blocks rather than a cohesive report with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. While some basic cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the other hand', 'However', and 'Morover', referencing is frequently unclear, and the overall progression of information is disjointed. Transitions between sentences feel abrupt, and the lack of proper paragraph structure significantly hinders the flow of ideas, placing the response firmly in Band 4.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with numerous spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text (e.g., 'activies', 'paticipant', 'Amateure', 'bigning', 'invovle', 'intrest', 'Morover', 'fow number', 'Amature'). The student attempts some topic-related vocabulary such as 'participants' and 'activities', but the frequent lexical errors and limited range mean that meaning is occasionally obscured or strained, meeting the criteria for Band 4.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences with frequent structural errors. There are multiple issues with subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and missing articles (e.g., 'the film club catch the highest paticipant', 'musical performance activity fail to attract', 'people intrest toward Table tennis activity gradually increase'). Complex sentence attempts are frequently faulty and awkward. Grammatical errors are pervasive and often cause difficulty for the reader, which aligns with Band 4.
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