Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
This line graph portray a number of participants at social centre in Melbourne whether these include film club,martial arts,amateur dramatics,table tennis and musical performances in the year between [redacted phone].Overall number of participants, fluctuation rates are given below.
Firstly, the film cub activity rate rise 65% and its dramatically urged towards similar climbing rate up to 67% whether in comparison with martial arts shows a significant change and comprised of 48% by 2020.In additon,the amateur dramatics represent a variation in number of participants fall 18% in the year 2010 and its level decreased in the year 2020 shows no escalations.On the other hand, table tennis one of a favourite sports activity of a players which begin to exceed in 2000 and its level would be plateaued till 2010 and substantial augmentation in its skill accentuating more players.Furthermore, its burgeoning effect bring a more competition in intellectual level.Juxtaposed a musical performance with the contraction of all others subject sectors indicate steadily increase 10% and and it demonstrate no moderate change.It's level constituted of 15% by 2020.
In conclusion,the performances are different and oscillation level,meanwhile, table tennis increasing capacity built a strong empire in sports activity which results in a reasonable patterns for specific period of time for better future sports activities.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to address the task by reporting on several activities from the line graph, such as the film club, martial arts, and table tennis. However, the use of percentages (e.g., 'rise 65%', 'comprised of 48%') is entirely inappropriate and inaccurate for a line graph showing absolute numbers of participants. Furthermore, the overview provided in the opening and closing is muddled, lacking a clear summary of the overall trends. Key features such as the dramatic rise of table tennis and the steep decline of amateur dramatics are mentioned, but the misinterpretation of data and lack of clear comparative overview prevents the response from achieving a higher band. It partially addresses the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response lacks a clear overall progression. Paragraphing is poorly handled, with the main body squeezed into a single, dense paragraph that makes the text difficult to follow. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'Firstly', 'In additon', and 'On the other hand', which fail to establish logical connections between the disparate ideas. The referencing is often unclear, particularly when transitioning between different activities and unsupported percentage figures. The conclusion merely repeats confused thoughts rather than summarizing the main trends effectively.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is largely basic and frequently imprecise or inappropriate. The student attempts less common lexical items such as 'augmentation', 'burgeoning', and 'contraction', but these are often used in unnatural collocations or incorrect contexts (e.g., 'table tennis one of a favourite sports activity of a players which begin to exceed'). There are also notable lexical errors like 'cub' instead of 'club' and 'urged' instead of 'edged' or 'surged'. The misuse of percentages instead of participant numbers significantly impairs the precision required for Task 1.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The text displays a very limited range of accurate sentence structures. The majority of complex sentences are heavily flawed and ungrammatical, such as 'This line graph portray a number of participants at social centre in Melbourne whether these include film club, martial arts...'. There are persistent errors in subject-verb agreement ('graph portray', 'rate rise'), missing articles ('at social centre'), and faulty relative clauses. Punctuation is also problematic, with missing spaces after commas. Frequent grammatical errors cause considerable strain for the reader.
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